We were all like: "hey Canada, come help us in our revolution so you can be free from France"
And they was all like: "forget you America, we do things our own way. You tell the British to shove it without us, yo (or rather, eh)"
So then, we ended up being all like: "Well forget you Canada, fine, you can't be a part of our cool club that we call the United States of America, no girls allowed (or black people for that matter)!" And then we went to the French instead who were like: "oui, oui we will help you because the British really piss us off too".
And that children is why George Washington is on the dollar bill, and why you can vote.
This is how I wish history was taught.