Poll

Who's version is better?

Original
2 (50%)
Grandma's
2 (50%)

Total Members Voted: 4

Author Topic: Starting a novel. PROGRESS: Page 9 - New Poll  (Read 8650 times)

  Yes, but "it" and "that don't sound very vivid.

It's okay to use pronouns every so often, just not excessively. ie,

Jim took Jim's truck to the beach, and parked Jim's truck, and walked into a beachfront store. Soon, a carjacker approached the vehicle and looked like he was aiming to strike Jim's truck. Jim sprang out of the store, heading for his truck, but by the time he got there, his truck window was broken, and the truck has fair damage all around. Jim's truck has just been vandalized.

Make sense? Bad example, but you get the point. :P

Yes. Also, your examlpe made me laugh. The repitition of "Jim" was funny.

I don't exactly know what I would be editing. :c

every loving thing.

edit your wording a hundred loving times, edit sequencing, names of characters, events, etc etc

Names of characters? :o


Bob, Joe, Fred, and Quieten . :D!
John. Paul, George and, Ringo.



LIL PLEASE ADD JOHN.
DANKE.

Hmmm. Bio, possibly?