Façade - The whole game is a glitch

Author Topic: Façade - The whole game is a glitch  (Read 18668 times)

I got kicked out for being rude. :(
I'll try again.

I managed to make out with his wife 24 times and still get him to leave and then I made out with her 4 more times before it blacked out. Beat that suckas!

I want someone to say I created the snake to them, and see what they say.

How do you make out with Grace.

Haha, this game looks funny as hell. DLing.

trip said I made them fight

KHA
I am here you friend

TRIP
Kha!!

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! -- (interrupted)

KHA
friend

(Trip closes the front door.)

KHA
friend

he hates me

"Have you heard the good word?" at the front door is a lose condition

loving jehova's witnesses

"Have you heard the good word?" at the front door is a lose condition

loving jehova's witnesses

I laughed for a good 3 minutes.

If you actually play the whole thing, he admits he had an affair with this chick in Barcelona.

after that he walks out the door.

random every-time you play.

Trip: Matt!

Matt: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

He closed the door on me.


FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 11 13 50 33 2010

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

MATT
Hey guys.

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here! -- (interrupted)

(MATT knocks on the front door.)

(MATT knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

MATT
Hello?

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

MATT
I'M HERE.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Matt!!

MATT
Yo, trip

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.

TRIP
Come on in!

MATT
I know, you too.

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

MATT
Alright

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Matt,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long!  -- (interrupted)

MATT
Hey grace.

GRACE
Aw, ha ha ha! -- (interrupted)

(MATT hugs grace.)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
And, I've got to say, you look really good!

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!

TRIP
Huh, I'll close the door.   -- (interrupted)

GRACE
So,    Matt,  I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha. 

(Trip closes the front door.)

MATT
Nothing's wrong.

TRIP
Well wait a minute! I don't think you've taken a close look yet.  Let it soak in a little!

MATT
forget YOU BRO

TRIP
(nervous coughing)

GRACE
uh...

MATT
Just kidding

TRIP
(nervous coughing)

GRACE
wha...

TRIP
what...

MATT
I was kidding.

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

TRIP
Ha ha ha,    Matt,

MATT
Ha

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

MATT
I know

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh...

TRIP
mess with us ...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

MATT
Yeah.

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway, uh... what were we talking about?

(MATT sits on the couch.)

GRACE
Matt,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.    H-mmm -- (interrupted)

MATT
I know

GRACE
Oh, well, we've -- we've missed you.

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

GRACE
What...

MATT
Remember when we got wasted?

TRIP
Wha... uh...

GRACE
Oh, Trip, he's just teasing you...  It's good, we all need that once in a while.

MATT
And I forgeted you?

TRIP
Ha ha!  Oh I think we're going to need some drinks first if we're going to talk about love.

MATT
Yeah

TRIP
Yeah, yeah.

MATT
Margarita

(MATT gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec!

TRIP
Oh and I've got these fancy new roostertail shakers I'm -- (interrupted)

MATT
Alright, cool

TRIP
Yeah, yeah...

TRIP
So, yeah, I just realized! -- (interrupted)

MATT
 Something wrong trip?

TRIP
N -- no, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?

MATT
Yup

TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...

MATT
How have you guys been doing?

GRACE
Pain.

GRACE
What do you...  No, we're fine, I'm fine, everything's fine...

MATT
You sure?

(MATT comforts grace.)

GRACE
Oh, heh, you're hugging me...

TRIP
Oh, that's nice of you.  Grace, aren't you glad we -- (interrupted)

MATT
Yeah.

(MATT comforts trip.)

TRIP
Oh! ha ha, you're hugging me!

GRACE
Ah it's good to see you two bonding again. 

MATT
Yeah, we're bros

GRACE
Well... it didn't take long for you two to...  bond, or whatever...

MATT
Grace, you seem mad.

TRIP
So! Drinks!

MATT
Yup

MATT
THAT'S A BALL

TRIP
How about a martini?

MATT
Yeah.

MATT
That'd be great

GRACE
Okay, good!

TRIP
Alright, fine, fine... 

TRIP
(little sigh) Excuse me for wanting to enjoy ourselves...

TRIP
Grace, what can I get you to drink tonight?  Surprise me.

GRACE
Matt,  I'll just have what you're having.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

(MATT sits on the couch.)

GRACE
So,   Matt,  I was going to ask you --

PHONE
** RING **

(MATT gets up from the couch.)

MATT
I got it

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

(MATT picks up the phone.)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Matt,  no!  Please don't do that.

PHONE
Grace?  Hello?

MATT
Hello?

PHONE
Who is this?  Grace is that you?

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

MATT
Nope

TRIP
Oh!

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up.

MATT
This is god

(MATT puts down the phone.)

MATT
:(

GRACE
Oh, good, you hung up. I can call him back later, or in a few days, heh.

TRIP
I wanted to say hello --

GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...

(MATT picks up a Grace's drink.)

GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.

(MATT sips his Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --

(MATT sips his Grace's drink.)

GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they're always expecting me to act like the dutiful daughter, it's so annoying.

MATT
Wow.

GRACE
Y -- yeah, yeah, no, talking about my parents is just going to frustrate me.

TRIP
Okay, well, I was worried there for a bit you were on Grace's side tonight, heh heh, heh.

MATT
Alright, so how about them mets?

MATT
You know, Baseball?

GRACE
W -- wait, wait, what's wrong, Trip?

GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?!  We're NOT disagreeing. 

MATT
You're not

TRIP
You don't agree?  uh... okay, well...

(MATT sits on the couch.)

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Perhaps.

TRIP
Heh!

(MATT sips his Grace's drink.)

GRACE
(little sigh)

(MATT sips his Grace's drink.)

(MATT puts down a Grace's drink.)

(MATT picks up a Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Oh,    Matt,  I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.

(MATT puts down a Grace's drink.)

(MATT gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!

TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.

MATT
It's cool.

GRACE
Well you're really good at saying what Trip wants to hear.

TRIP
Oh, ha ha, well --

MATT
Guys, I gotta take a dump

MATT
Where's the bathroom

MATT
Trip

MATT
I'll just find it myself then

TRIP
Oh, you'll never guess -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Matt,  are you -- are you looking for something?

MATT
The bathroom

MATT
Where is it?

TRIP
(little sigh) Anyway...  I can't remember what we were talking about...

MATT
ME TAKING A stuff

GRACE
Uhh, you are impossible...!

MATT
I HAVE TO TAKE A stuff

GRACE
Are -- what, what are you saying?

MATT
WHERE IS THE BATHROOM

GRACE
Huh?  What, what was that?

MATT
I HAVE TO stuff

GRACE
Yeah, okay, again with that, okay...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling! -- (interrupted)

MATT
YEAH AGAIN WITH THAT BITCH

GRACE
What?!?  That's awful, where did that come from?  You're acting ridiculous!

TRIP
(little impatient sigh)     Matt,  I...

MATT
WHAT

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
And you...

GRACE
I can predict what you'll say...

MATT
WHERE IS THE loving BATH

GRACE
The way you keep talking about Trip's goddamn drinks.

MATT
ITS NOT THE DRINKS OMG

TRIP
Matt,  no, I'm not fixing you a drink right now!

(MATT knocks on the front door.)

(MATT opens the front door.)

MATT
forget YOU

TRIP
Your goddamn parents...

(MATT points to the elevator button.)

(MATT points to the elevator button.)

(MATT points to the elevator button.)

TRIP
Okay,    Matt,  I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

MATT
BYE monday


There was no bathroom.

Trip: Hey! Adam! Nice to see-

Adam: Shut your whore mouth.

*slams door*

I try to DL this but it seems to get stuck.

Warning, this is really long.

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 11 14 17 06 2010

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back!  I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

(Matt knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine... -- (interrupted)

(Matt knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Matt!!

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man!   -- (interrupted)

MATT
Hey, trip!

TRIP
Great!

TRIP
Alright!

TRIP
Wow,  it's really  really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

MATT
Alright

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(MATT knocks on the front door.)

(MATT closes the front door.)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Matt,

MATT
Hey, grace

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long!  -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

MATT
Thanks, you too

GRACE
So,    Matt,  I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha. 

MATT
Don't know.

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...  -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Ha ha, I guess it's just -- (interrupted)

(MATT picks up the brass bull.)

TRIP
Oh, that brass bull, that's a gift from my business contact in Barcelona --

GRACE
What is that doing out here?  Didn't I ask you to put that away?

TRIP
Uh, yeah,  I will, later, after our friend leaves.

(MATT puts down the brass bull.)

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, everybody says the view from our balcony is fantastic...

MATT
It's beautiful.

TRIP
Yeah, it really makes you -- (interrupted)

TRIP
See, I told you he would like it!  There's nothing wrong with it.

GRACE
(little sigh)

GRACE
(little sigh) So everybody loves this view...

GRACE
but I'd really rather see some trees or something... a natural green would enhance the colors of the room so much better.

TRIP
uhh...

MATT
True

GRACE
Ah, yes, I've been waiting for someone to say that!

TRIP
What are you talking about? 

GRACE
Trip, he is just being honest about my decorating, which I appreciate.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh) But I still think this looks fine...

TRIP
Well... you two are all chummy already... that's, that's good...

GRACE
Matt,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.    H-mmm (happy smile sound) -- (interrupted)

MATT
Hell yeah.

GRACE
N -- no no no, I - I've -- I've missed you.

TRIP
Huh, I just thought of something.

GRACE
What...

MATT
I've missed both of you.

TRIP
Uh -- well, hmm, tonight is special...

TRIP
Matt,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college.

GRACE
Oh... geez...

MATT
It was 6, I think.

TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...

GRACE
Pain.

TRIP
Heh heh heh... Agony. -- (interrupted)

MATT
What?

TRIP
Uh -- I - I mean, uh, it's, uh -- it's great you could be here tonight.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Perhaps.

TRIP
Heh!

GRACE
(little sigh)

MATT
So, uh

TRIP
W -- wait, wait, wait, what's wrong, Grace?

GRACE
Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.

MATT
You're not arguing

TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Wait...

GRACE
You think I'm...

GRACE
not...     angry...

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...

MATT
You're both happy

MATT
You should be

GRACE
Ha ha, yeah...

TRIP
Ha, never afraid to push our buttons, ha ha ha, heh... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh, mmm, well, hold -- hold on.   (clears throat) -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Okay,

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Heh -- it's not a good idea, heh.

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, this crazy thing, always giving me the wrong advice, heh.

GRACE
Trip, would you put away that -- (interrupted)

MATT
What isn't?

TRIP
Oh that -- oh, that's just a little joke advice giver toy thing that I like to consult now and then...

MATT
Hah

TRIP
when I need a little -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ha ha, yeah!

TRIP
Ah,    Matt,  what we really need here...

TRIP
are some drinks!

GRACE
Oh, is that what we need...

MATT
Yup.

TRIP
Uh, well, um, we need drinks!

MATT
Yes we do

TRIP
This is great... For -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Y -- yeah, uh, I - I'm going to open an exquisite Bordeaux!

TRIP
Best of the best, you can't buy this in stores... Very, very special --

GRACE
God Trip, you're just like my dad with the whole wine snob thing.

TRIP
I'll take that as a compliment.     Matt,  what do you say?

MATT
Sure, margarita, though

TRIP
No no I really think we should have this wine, trust me, trust me!

GRACE
Matt,  maybe you'd like just a simple glass of white wine?

TRIP
What...?

MATT
Yeah, sure

GRACE
Okay!  Trip, you heard him!

TRIP
No, this is a special get-together, I want to open this wine, I'm not going to settle less!

GRACE
You seem perfectly happy settling for less when you sneak off to that crappy little sports bar down the street!

MATT
Fine, trip.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
Don't think I don't know about your secret little hangout where you watch football and drink lite beer with lowly construction workers...

TRIP
How -- how do you -- how do you know about that --

GRACE
If only the guys at your high class poker games knew about that, huh?

TRIP
What -- you --

MATT
Guys stop loving arguing

GRACE
Some habits are hard to break I guess.

MATT
Jesus.

TRIP
What, what's that, what are you saying, what?

GRACE
Your goddamn sports bar...

GRACE
You so desperately want to be high class!  So badly!

MATT
Stop arguing, damnit.

GRACE
Look, at this point, criticizing me is just going to make it really really bad! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
(little impatient sigh)     Matt,  -- (interrupted)

MATT
I'm trying to make it better.

GRACE
Uhh, can you -- can you just...

GRACE
Everyone tries to explain everything...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!

TRIP
Oh, come on...!

GRACE
Okay, you know what,     Matt,

MATT
Can I get that wine?

GRACE
I'm going to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

GRACE
Matt,  yes or no...

GRACE
If there was a thing about yourself you didn't like, but your husband or wife likes it, is it still okay to hide it?

MATT
Sometimes

TRIP
What...?! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...

MATT
Wine, trip.

TRIP
Grace, you won't let me be who I want to be!  Who -- who I am!  This is who I am now!  Goddammit!

GRACE
Oh, that's great Trip!

GRACE
Uhh!  Yeah, good, go away! 

GRACE
I can't stand you!

GRACE
Goddammit!

(MATT hugs grace.)

GRACE
No, don't, please...

TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?

GRACE
What do you care?

(MATT sits on the couch.)

GRACE
Matt,  I can't believe you have to see this...

MATT
Neither do I.

TRIP
Matt,  in what you said before, about marriage... I think that shows us something about Grace.

GRACE
Oh, we're talking about me again, are we?

TRIP
What?

(MATT gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Matt,  look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she's never satisfied.

GRACE
Trip, ... ugh ... I'm so sick of this.

MATT
You gotta give her what she wants

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Ah, thank you, that helps him.   Trip, look at my parents. If money bought happiness they wouldn't hate themselves like they do.

MATT
She's your wife, Trip.

TRIP
What?

TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.

MATT
You heard me, she's your wife.

GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ah!

GRACE
Matt,  you're saying I'm... not communicative?   No, that's just wrong, I'm the one here who is able to actually say things...

MATT
You are.

TRIP
Let's keep talking about Grace.

GRACE
Trip, you're the reason we live  like ... pretentious ...

(MATT sits on the couch.)

TRIP
Like your parents, you mean!

GRACE
Trip, I don't need any of this stuff. It's all you! -- (interrupted)

MATT
Jesus Christ.

TRIP
Grace, you always blame me...

GRACE
Trip, why can't we just... uhh...!

TRIP
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both.

TRIP
Grace, I -- I want to take care of you...

GRACE
Trip...

GRACE
Trip...    Matt,  we... uhh...

TRIP
You've always wanted that, I know you did...

MATT
You guys, what's happened to you?

GRACE
What?

MATT
You're arguing like hell.

GRACE
Ah, good, you're asking questions, see, that helps... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ah!

GRACE
Matt,  you're saying I'm... angry?

GRACE
You know Trip, it's so annoying when you 'reminisce' about -- (interrupted)

MATT
You both are.

TRIP
Grace, I know you're angry, but come on, don't...  (frustrated sigh)

MATT
you too trip.

TRIP
Matt,  if there's something about me, just tell me what it is!

GRACE
Okay, stop, I -- I can't do this anymore, goddammit!

MATT
You're over-bearing

(MATT gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Matt,  I know what you're hinting at, okay?!

GRACE
about me...

MATT
Not you

GRACE
about our marriage...

GRACE
No,    Matt,  wait, please, let me speak!

GRACE
Do you two want to hear the honest truth?  Huh? 

MATT
Yeah.

GRACE
Trip?

TRIP
Yes...!

GRACE
Matt,  I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying tonight.

GRACE
You've really been pushing me.

GRACE
And I wonder, are -- are you really my friend...?

TRIP
Grace!

MATT
Yes I am.

GRACE
Matt,  come on -- yes or no...

MATT
Yes.

GRACE
Do you really think that...

GRACE
praising Trip...

GRACE
telling me I'm not communicative...

GRACE
telling me I'm angry...

GRACE
but especially what you said about hiding things from your spouse...

GRACE
that it's all supposed to make me realize something about myself?

GRACE
Is it supposed to add up to something meaningful, or... what?

GRACE
Is it?  Just give me a yes or a no.

MATT
No.

GRACE
No?  Huh, well, I thought it did add up to something, actually.

MATT
Listen, Grace

GRACE
Trip...

GRACE
uhh...

MATT
I respect you

GRACE
In college...     I was in love with someone else.

MATT
Woah.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
An art major, named Vince.

TRIP
An art major named Vince --

GRACE
And...

GRACE
And I slept with him.

TRIP
Y -- y -- you what?

GRACE
The night before you proposed to me.

GRACE
I jinxed our marriage, Trip.

MATT
PLOT TWIST

GRACE
I jinxed it.  I'm sorry.

GRACE
This is all my fault.

TRIP
Uhh... huhh... ho... wow... uhh...

TRIP
Uhh... I'm glad you finally told me.

TRIP
Jesus...!

GRACE
Matt,  I --

TRIP
I'm going to give you the truth too, Grace.

GRACE
What?!

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
I'm -- I'm just... af -- afraid of... of being poor.

GRACE
Poor?  Trip, we have so much! What do you --

TRIP
It never feels like enough!

TRIP
As a kid... it -- it was...   My family was always on the edge.

GRACE
So you weren't rich, but --

TRIP
We even spent six months in a shelter once.

GRACE
Oh my God...!

MATT
I'm sorry trip.

TRIP
All of this stuff...

TRIP
Is a kind of protection from that ever happening again. 

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
Oh my God...!

TRIP
Okay,    Matt,  Grace, I have one more thing to say...

GRACE
Again?!

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
I forced you to marry me, didn't I.

TRIP
When I proposed to you, in front of your parents, on Christmas Eve, and...

TRIP
I knew you wouldn't be capable of saying no.

GRACE
You manipulated me.

GRACE
And I never did anything about it.

TRIP
Yes.

GRACE
And here we are.

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
Oh my God...!

(MATT sits on the couch.)

GRACE
This changes everything...

TRIP
Yeah.

(MATT gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
You... you're terribly afraid of being poor.

TRIP
You feel like you ruined everything from the start...

MATT
I understand.

TRIP
I manipulated you into marrying me...

GRACE
No, I -- I let it happen...

TRIP
Matt,  I --

GRACE
Matt,  we...

TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
And no,    Matt,  you don't need to say anything more...

MATT
Alright.

TRIP
Matt,  Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.

GRACE
And no,    Matt,  please, it's okay...

MATT
I hope you guys get along great.

(Trip opens the front door.)

MATT
Have a good marriage.

MATT
Bye, guys.

(MATT comforts trip.)

(MATT hugs grace.)

GRACE
Bye.  Thanks.

MATT
Bye.

(Trip closes the front door.)

(MATT points to the elevator button.)

(MATT points to the elevator button.)