First off, the grammar/spelling is awful. Lines don't appear on the screen long enough to read them. Subtitles are generally a crappy path to go anyway. Find some voice actors that don't have kid voices. The choreography of the scenes could have been done better. Couldn't hurt to buy Fraps so you get rid of the watermark. I don't know if making machinima is something you're interested in getting much into, but if it is, Fraps is definitely worth its price. Also, something else you can do to improve the quality a bit is to run BL in a window and make it widescreen when you film. That will make the final product look better, and it's very simple to do, but make sure you have whatever editing program you use (WMM I would guess) set to widescreen instead of 4:3.
The fact that Fraps wouldn't record your audio is most likely due to an old sound card, or lack of one (assuming you have the newest version of Fraps, because with older ones you can change the recorded audio from your computer, so you should check that first). I had that problem a few years ago. You can get a fairly cheap sound card that will work if you look. I personally don't think it's worth spending money to upgrade your computer so you can record something like this, but that's up to you. You can probably make due with music and/or adding SFX.
Overall, I didn't care for this at all. Looks like it was thrown together in an hour or two with very little effort. For the episodes to be any good, you need to make a lot of changes to improve the quality. I hope you aren't taking what I say offensively. This is just a review of your filming techniques and presentation rather than the storyline, seeing as you don't seem to want any storyline criticism.
