"This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!"
I just find that funny. Especially when THEY die like that.
"Remember when the platform-thingy was going into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye,' and you were like [in low pitched voice]'No way,' Then I was all like 'We pretended we were going to murder you?' That was great."
"I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you... which it's just about to. Don't believe me? Here. I'll put you on. [in a high pitched voice] Hello! [normal voice] That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"
"Unbelievable. You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!"