Star Fox: Four Horsemen - like progress noobs

[Dusty12]

The most recent one I'm working on, entitled Star Fox: The Four Horsemen This one will probably be my longest, most dramatic, and silliest. As prove just read the chapter Studio 333 and you'll see what I mean. It also contains adult themes and some content so I suggest you are selective when you read this.


Characters:

Fox McCloud, son of James McCloud and team leader of Star Fox.

Krystal McCloud, wife to Fox and Second in Command.

Falco Lombardi, Fox's close childhood friend and ballsy avian.

Slippy Toad - Gay amphibian who likes to cross-dress; mechanic.

War - Rutheless and Bloodthirsty; Brawn behind the operation.

Death - Cold and Cunning; Brains behind operation.

Famine - Cowardly and Manipulating; recently awoken.

Pestilence - Rude and Disgusting; whereabouts unknown.

Life - Caring and Courageous; Angel tasked with killing the four.

Victoria Meidoom - Cheeky young girl; brave.

Virdikal Natus - War veteran and insane Russian.

ROB 64 - Great Fox II's pilot and medic.


Locations:

Corneria - Republic and face of purity.

Fichina - Frozen wasteland.

Katina - Barren desert.

Titiana - Research hub.

Aqaus - Ocean world.

Idola - Cerinan colony.

Venom - Face of evil; home to Resistance HQ.

Sectors X, Y, and Z - Gas clouds lololo

Fortuna - Lush tropical planet.

Migium - Ancient ruined world.

Macbeth - Industrialized planet.


WAR MAP



Orange X - Battle
Red Circle - Important fleet
Purple Line - Frontlines

And that's that. Do enjoy what I have written.

[Ad Bot]

[canto xe]

You're a good writer, i think you could write a book, both of them are very good.

Fox sat down in his new captain's chair. He spun around a few times

I laughed at that for some reason.

Also, i think that that Fox should have read more so it should be more interesting. Also you made fox too jealous :o. Reading the 2nd one tomorrow. Everything was good i loved it Sue, it was so beautiful and i was relaxed. Also the thing you did is named Miracle, you're stories are miracles :o.

[Dusty12]

Thank you.

[Deus Ex]

The answer to your question is obvious: you've made an astounding literary piece here. Cant wait for the next.

[M]

Actually quite a good read. Very different to what I'd write if I were to write a story these days even if it were a romance at its core, since when I stress out, I choreograph fight scenes in my head nigh-constantly, and that would carry into my writing. I've actually always wanted to write a fugitive romance story where quite literally the whole world is against the two lovers and perhaps three others at most - zombie apocalypse style.

It'd certainly be different to most romance or zombie stories. In fact on that note I really want to punch the next person who I find writing a journal perspective zombie story... but I digress.

You write well, better than a lot of people, although as you thankfully admit you're not perfect. I can't honestly critique anything specific though, so keep at it and you'll do well with writing when or if you pursue it as a career. I mean hell, Twilight follows the format of glorified fanfiction with (semi-) original characters, and look at it... Disclaimer: You're free to like Twilight and this isn't directed at its readers, just me stating my own opinion on the books.

[Dusty12]

Thank you all for your feedback. On a side note, am I the only one who enjoys playing songs while writing, notably a love song such as this to help you write? I find it inspiring to play songs like this while I dream up a plot line.

[Sirrus]

Well from what I'm reading, I think I'll have to read this later. I have school in a few minutes.

But I'm already going to try and not enjoy it because you're a furry.

[Dusty12]

I'm sorry, I don't have the time to explain the mental reasoning behind my actions but I'm not a furry.

[Kapturrith]

I read Dusty's stories first you cigarettes

[Dusty12]

Danke schoen, darling.

[Kapturrith]

I don't know what that means please inform me

[Qwepir]

The Order does not appreciate the use of its' name for your heathen tales of lust.

I'll read it later, I'm at school right now.

[Deus Ex]

I prefer to listen to 'Schism' while I write :D

[canto xe]

The Order does not appreciate the use of its' name for your heathen tales.


I'll read it later, I'm at school right now.

What are you doing on the pc then?.

[Qwepir]

What the hell does it look like?