I've shaved once, im not going to again.
You can figure what happened.
Evil galactic overlords destroyed your homeland, your family was killed and your friends were murdered. At your darkest time, you had to avenge them. The only way to avenge was to show them that you're not going to cower in fear. The only way to defeat the evil beings was to shave.
Your beard was actually a spy sent by Naz'grok to steal secret information from your chin. In doing so, your beard would be granted ever-lasting life. You picked up your razor and began to hack at your beard.
Only, to your misfortune somebody sabotaged your razor and it quickly turned against you. After four agonizing hours of torture, your bloody face was stinging with pain, an idea popped into your head; why not unplug the razor? You quickly scrambled to the power outlet and groped the cable with your mighty hands.
It took five tugs until you got a firm grip and pull it straight out. In the last seconds of the razor's life, it escaped narrowly but was attacked by your only last friend, your cat. Your cat killed it with three bites to the neck. But just then, your beard fought back and struck you down. Your beard got away and you are now rendered helpless.
But, that's just a quick guess.