One day, this fat kid ate all the petroleum beings that my TARDIS contained and everybody was complaining that they were being pulled by his gravitational force. 10 minutes after that, a group of dead African village-dwellers were on him and he caused some unstable timeloops. The principal called me up when I was traveling with all these male strippers with social disorders and I accidentally killed the fat guy. The gravitational pull of his corpse next to my TARDIS was so UNREAL that I went back in time when he was thinner by 99.98% which is 500 pounds and I summoned my male strippers to kill him.
A bunch of weird color-changing aliens with cool horn things on their eyebrows came and gave me a citation that had the currency of a̶̧̩̪͓̩͇̜͕͚̺̠͚̳̻͙̯̤͉̱̤̒̃̓̈͛͒ͥ̇̚͘͟i̔̿͐̋͘҉̨͖͈͕̦̼̼̘̭̪̰͇d͒ͪ̐ͬ̓ͣͣ̈́̿̍ͪ͐̎͋̾̑̅̄̆͢҉͝͏͉̤͕̬̰u̽͌̇̃̌̀̑͏͙̹͚̹̳̬̕͜͞͞ģ̵͔̩̫͔̲̤͊̐͛̃̑ͯͣ͒ͥ͊͐̂̅ͯ͋ͦ̚s̝̖͖̤͓̱̭͚̺͚̳͕͖̗̗̦̩͓̪͊͛̽͒̀͠ and I never payed for it because they were killed by the gravitational pull of the fat kid's former existence.
What are you on bro.. cuz I want sum..
My story: I was at lunch, 8th grade, eating peacefully, and some friend came up and punched me across the face, sending my head down upon a stool, I managed to get up. He said, "WHY THE forget DID YOU STEAL MY GIRL!?". My reply was: "What are you talking about." He attempted to hit me again, I caught his fist and twisted his arm, and roadhouse kicked him in the stomach, and slammed my elbow into his arm. He suddenly dropped crying as a bit of blood dripped, I just sat down and proceeded to eat, and didn't give a stuff. Plus a few days after that I was teepeeing my principal's house.
... AmIcoolyet?
