Aeris' Collection.

[WhoDa?]

Someone can't take criticism.
I bet he knows that the story isn't done but he criticised what you wrote and not what you didn't.

Or am I misunderstanding something?

[Ad Bot]

[.Aeris.]

Someone can't take criticism.
I bet he knows that the story isn't done but he criticised what you wrote and not what you didn't.

Or am I misunderstanding something?

I doubt he read it since he said I had a small vocabulary and then said repetition of UNCOMMON words.

[WRB852]

well i just read through it again. aside from a few minor hiccups, it's not terrible. your vocab is fine, the reason i said something was you have a real lack of metaphors in there which is where i feel the detail in a story comes from, not just $5 words.

[.Aeris.]

(simile)as if a train was passing by.
(metaphor)it sent chill bony hands sliding down his spine.
(simile)as tall as the ceiling
(simile)as wide as the door and half it again
(metaphor)a freight train of flesh and horror.

There was also some personification in there.

[.::Taboo::.]

There was also some personification in there.

don't go thinking that randomly throwing out elements of literature makes good writing.

[.Aeris.]

don't go thinking that randomly throwing out elements of literature makes good writing.

I don't, I was just noting it since he was on the topic.

[Meekl]

don't go thinking that randomly throwing out elements of literature makes good writing.

I'm pretty sure that's how all stories are done.

[.::Taboo::.]

I'm pretty sure that's how all stories are done.

explains why i dislike almost everything nowdays.

[Meekl]

explains why i dislike almost everything nowdays.

"AAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAA AAAAA A AAAA AAA"
-tabooo

[.::Taboo::.]

"AAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAA AAAAA A AAAA AAA"
-tabooo

that's relevant.
fyi every now and then i change my title thing to a different cipher, same meaning.

[.Aeris.]

Bump.

[yogamoanyo]

I like it, I say you should continue it.

[.Aeris.]

I like it, I say you should continue it.

I added art. I might update it late today or tomorrow.

[yogamoanyo]

I added art. I might update it late today or tomorrow.

I noticed.

I'll stay tuned to the thread so I know when the update comes.

[Unwritten Calender]

sorry but
the art is terrible