Author Topic: A story I wrote for my girlfriend.  (Read 15617 times)

Yes I have a girlfriend. We were talking about what we should do for New Years. She suggested something kind of low key, and then asked me what I wanted to do. I said I'd write a story and send it to her, but she went offline. I think I might get some feedback on it before I send it.

The story:
Quote
It's New Years eve, and you and I are getting ready to celebrate it with style. We get dressed up in our rags and head out to the Mount. Bayfair to the Mount is a fairly big walk, so we end up spending the whole time holding hands and talking. 30 minutes later, we arrive at Burger King. We walk in casually and order a meal to eat in. As we eat, we talk some more, learning more about each other in each sentence. Once we finish our food, we toss the trash in the bin, and walk down the street towards Mount Drury. On the way to the oversized lump of dirt, we both inch closer to each other, until we are holding each other, my hand on your waist, your arm over my shoulders. We take the tiring walk up the steps to the top of Mount Drury slowly as to not puff ourselves out. Once at the top, we plop our bums down on the cool grass and look into the sky, all the while still embracing each other.

On our backs, we stare at the sky, waiting for the arial performance of fireworks to begin. I look at my watch, but it is still only 11:45pm. There's still quarter of an hour to spare together. I roll over to see you looking back into my eyes. We stare into each others eyes for a good minute, before I give you a light kiss on your top lip. We hug on the ground, keeping each other close. I pull my head back and kiss your cheek, you turn and I kiss your lips. You start to kiss back, and we start to kiss each other in the grass, starting with shy pecks, but getting more adventurous. Pretty soon we are laying in the cool grass, lips locked with one another, tongues intertwined, discovering the inside of our mouthes. My hand drifts down, and places itself on your ass cheek. We continue kissing and our hands venture all over our bodies. Soon, my hand is back to your ass, as the session gets slower again, but not getting close to finishing. I lay there, my mouth on your mouth, my left hand rubbing your bum, and my right in your hair, holding you close.

Our love is interrupted by a loud BANG. The first of the fireworks are flung skyward. We break apart and look to the dark night sky, waiting for the next firework to fire. We lay there, oohing and aahing over the display of light, each burst of brilliant flame lighting up your face. I pull you in closer and you lay your head on my shoulder, and I lay mine on your head. You look up at me, I look down to you and I kiss your forehead. We watch the performance again, and by the time it is over it's almost 1 o'clock. I look into your eyes and say "that was awesome". You just nod, still looking into my eyes. I roll over to get a better look at you, and we lay there for a few minutes before we resume our kissing from before the show.

In the heat of the kissing, you break away. "What's wrong?" I ask. "Oh, nothing, it's just that there's nobody here, that's strange" you say. I agree, there is usually more people on the hill. Oh well. Again, we resume the session. This time, my hand is more adventurous, and it travels down your thigh and I drag your leg up onto mine, and hold you closer. My hand glides back up to your rear, and I hold it in my hand. The kissing starts to get much hotter and heavier, and in the spur of the moment, my hand runs up your spine, under your shirt until I reach your bra strap.

The rest is history.

What do you think?

I was genuinely uncomfortable reading it.


TL;DR: "Wanna forget?"

This is pretty creepy though.

TL;DR: "Wanna forget?"

Dont be so mean

I like it  :cookieMonster:


Also,

holy forget ephi


I don't see how it's creepy though?

It's obviously creepy for us as you are addressing the reader and we are the readers. Maybe when your girlfriend reads it she will like it though.

Maybe.

You should stop using words like butt cheek and ass :P

What is wrong with ass?

The extra effort you put into asking to nail her won't give you additional leverage, you know.


I was a bit uncomfortable reading it.

Yeah.... i was uncomfortable reading it

i want to lick your face
and touch your naughty bits while you are unconscious