Don't wanna be a Canadian IdiotDon't wanna be some beer-swillin' hockey nutAnd do I look like some frost-bitten hose head?I never learned my alphabet from A to ZedThey all live on donuts and moose meatAnd they all leave the house without packin' heatNever even bring their guns to the mallAnd you know what else is too funny?Their stupid monopoly moneyCan't take 'em seriously at allWell, maple syrup and snow's what they exportThey treat curling just like it's a real sportThey think their silly accent is so cuteCan't understand a thing they're talking a-bootSure, they got their national health careCheaper meds for prime rates and clean airThen again, well they got Celine DionEat their weight in Kraft macaroniAnd dream of driving a ZamboniAll over SaskatchewanDon't wanna be a Canadian idiotWon't figure out the temperature in CelciusSee the map, they're hoverin' right over usTell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervousAlways hear the same kind of storyBreak your nose and they'll just say "Sorry"Tell me what kind of freaks are that politeIt's gotta be they're all up to somethingSo, quick, before they see it comingTime for a preemptive strike
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