I loving lol'd.
I don't know how to say this without being rude, so I'm just going to be rude. Your dad shovels coal for a living and I am a goddamn professional computer programmer. I know more about this subject than your dad. Port forwarding, if done correctly, is completely safe.
Don't make fun of people's mothers, even if the the person is the net's biggest spambot.
If you port forward can all users use your router!My mother say that and she is an expert on PC!