Some dramatic story thing that popped into my head. :'c

[Zuero]

Ken was fighting Novaraina, dark version of Novarine. Ken's HP was medium, his defense was low. Novaraina used the ultimate attack, Void.  This hurt Ken until his HP was at 1, and defense at 0. Ken was lying on the ground, struggling to get up. Then, Novarine came shooting down from the sky. Novarine started to approach Novaraina. Novarine then started attacking Novaraina, and soon they were both fighting. Ken finally got up to his knees, stood up, watched them fight for a bit and then he started to walk away slowly. He was hoping Novaraina wouldn't notice him. Novaraina then noticed him walking away, swooped down, grabbed him, and threw him at the wall. As Ken was flying towards the wall, he started seeing memories of his life, good memories. He remembered his wife, Sheila, who was always worried about him but still always supported him. And his 2 kids, Ty, and Kyle, who promised to try as much as they could to be like him someday. His friends who always supported him no matter what. Then, he hit the wall. His HP dropped to 0, he screamed a death scream. Whenever they got the news, everyone became depressed. No one could help defend them. The next year, animals that had been posessed took over their village.

To Be Continued Someday
 

[Ad Bot]

[Flamecannon]

"omg i got hit in modern warfare!"
"oh my god that is so dramatic i have a boner now"

[Zuero]

"omg i got hit in modern warfare!"
"oh my god that is so dramatic i have a boner now"

This isn't about Modern Warfare you know. It's about a random game thing that popped into my head.

[Flamecannon]

This isn't about Modern Warfare you know. It's about a random game thing that popped into my head.

I know it's an example. I think the downfall of the story is both that it's about a game and that its generic.

[Zuero]

I know it's an example. I think the downfall of the story is both that it's about a game and that its generic.

Do you like it? c:?

[keonesan]

Do you like it? c:?

Obviously he doesn't. :/

On-Topic: It's bad for multiple reasons.

One of the big reasons is that it sounds like I'm reading the text boxes from a Final Fantasy game.


<Guy 1> attacks <Guy 2>

<Guy 2> Has 1 Hp

<Guy 2> Screams

!?!?!?


That's basically what it sounds like. Real writing is descriptive and tells a story, it doesn't just read actions out to you.

Here's an example (I'm writing this from the top of my head as well):

Ken was engaged in a heated battle with Novaraina, a dark creature that mimicked his loved ones. He was bleeding heavily from a large gash in the side of his hip and he could barely lift his crippled arm...


And so on and so fourth. I wrote the same concept you were headed for but I wrote it like an actual piece of writing. Not a line of events.

[Zuero]

Obviously he doesn't. :/

On-Topic: It's bad for multiple reasons.

One of the big reasons is that it sounds like I'm reading the text boxes from a Final Fantasy game.


<Guy 1> attacks <Guy 2>

<Guy 2> Has 1 Hp

<Guy 2> Screams

!?!?!?


That's basically what it sounds like. Real writing is descriptive and tells a story, it doesn't just read actions out to you.

Here's an example (I'm writing this from the top of my head as well):

Ken was engaged in a heated battle with Novaraina, a dark creature that mimicked his loved ones. He was bleeding heavily from a large gash in the side of his hip and he could barely lift his crippled arm...


And so on and so fourth. I wrote the same concept you were headed for but I wrote it like an actual piece of writing. Not a line of events.

I suck at stories. :C I'm even crying right now.

[Meekl]

Based on what I've read so far here's my prediction:

Ken was faced with two options floating before him: "Quit" and "Try Again" in white, almost pixelated text. Ken touched "Try Again" and 300 gold coins disappeared from his currency indicator. Suddenly, he appeared at the feet of his assailant, alive again.

Above them in green text floated, "Ken respawned"


hue :3

[otto-san]

real men turn their game dreams into realiety


i totally mispelled on pourpose

[Zuero]

real men turn their game dreams into realiety


i totally mispelled on pourpose

I can't make games though. :c

[Caution]

The hell is with the stupid last part?

[otto-san]

I can't make games though. :c

learn