Jokes

[Wynd_Fox]

An updaug is...?

[Ad Bot]

[JAW959]

A PROTON AND A NEUTRON WALK INTO A BAR....

They order drinks and the neutron asks how much the drinks are. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge!"

You're stupid

Atom 1: I think I just lost an electron!
Atom 2: Are you sure?
Atom 1: I'm positive!

[ChexGuy331]

An updaug is...?

I don't really know....

what's updaug?

You're stupid

how so?

[Wynd_Fox]

I know, I was trying to kill the joke.

[JAW959]

how so?

A proton and a neutron = no charge
hurr hurr

[zackin5]

Archimedes walks into a bar and has a drink. The bartender asks if he'd like another, Archimedes replies "I think not" then suddenly disappears.


Energizer Bunnie arrested
Charged with battery


Why can't Australian's fly?
Because they can't gain altitude without crashing.

[ChexGuy331]

A proton and a neutron = no charge
hurr hurr

only the neutron asked how much the drinks were, and the bartender's quote was directed at the neutron, hence the "for you."

dumbass.

[Joker Card]

A boy and his dad go on a fishing trip. The dad gets bored and starts to drink a beer. The son then asks "Can I have one?" the dad then replies "Can your richard touch your ass?" The son says "No" Then the dad says "Then you're not old enough.". So later the dad pulls out a cigar and starts to smoke it. "Can I have one?" "Can your richard touch your ass" "No" "Then you're not old enough". Then the dad pulls out a nude magazine. And again the boy asks "Can I have one?" "Can your richard touch your ass?" "No" "Then you're not old enough." So the boy goes home and is all sad because he's not old enough to do the things his dad does. So he gets some oreos and some milk and sits down to eat them. The dad walks in and says "Oooh can I have some" the boy replies: "Can your richard touch your ass?" The dad says "Why yes son it can." The boy then replies "Good, go forget yourself these are my oreos."

[Katamari007]

What color does a smurf turn when it's choking?

[ChexGuy331]

Two men are driving in a car when they're pulled over by a cop. The officer taps the window with his baton, and when it's down, he whacks the driver with it. The driver says, "What the hell was that for?!" The officer says, "Shut up and gimme your license." He runs it and it comes up clean, so he returns it. He then goes to the passenger side and taps the window, then hits the passenger with his baton once it's down. The passenger yells, "Why the forget are you hitting me?" The officer smugly replies, "A few miles down you would have said, 'I wish that richard tried that with me.' "

[Jubel]

Want to hear a funny joke?


Womens rights.

[Joker Card]

Two men are driving in a car when they're pulled over by a cop. The officer taps the window with his baton, and when it's down, he whacks the driver with it. The driver says, "What the hell was that for?!" The officer says, "Shut up and gimme your license." He runs it and it comes up clean, so he returns it. He then goes to the passenger side and taps the window, then hits the passenger with his baton once it's down. The passenger yells, "Why the forget are you hitting me?" The officer smugly replies, "A few miles down you would have said, 'I wish that richard tried that with me.' "

I don't get it.

[zackin5]

I don't get it.

If the officer hadn't done that the passenger would have said "I wish that richard tried that with me." a few miles down the road.

At least in theory.

[Joker Card]

If the officer hadn't done that the passenger would have said "I wish that richard tried that with me." a few miles down the road.

At least in theory.

I still don't get it.

[Solid]

This one is dark:

What do Jewish people and pizzas have in common?

They both go in an oven.