Hello. Post your cheesy jokes.
1. Slimming Down
A man was standing on the scale, sucking in his stomach. The man's wife sarcastically said, "I don't
think that's going to help."
"Sure it does," he said. "How else could I see the numbers?"
2. What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor!!
6. When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe
playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
7. I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.
8. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where
the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it
would defeat the purpose.
9. The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.
11. Atom Humor
Two atoms are drinking at the bar. Suddenly one says to the other, "I've just lost one of my
electrons!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"Yes," replied the first atom. "I'm positive."
13. The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
15. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
16. Conversation
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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right
thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at
the tempting moment.
17. You can listen to thunder after lightening to tell how close
you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it never mind.
18. You can always pick your nose but you can never choose your face
19. Ever wish someone was a whine bottle and you could put a cork in em?
20. Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
21. Jay Lo Cal barely dressing
22. what do you call a fish without an eye? ....a fsssshhhh
23. I drank 8 cokes today... I burped 7-up
24. How do you make a venesian blind? ...you poke him in the eye
25. ask not what your country can do for you, ask who in your country you can do
-President Clinton
27. Did you hear about thr new Chinese novel called "Spots on the Wall" by Who Flung Poo?
whats green and brown, has 4 legs, and if it falls on you could kill you?
Pool Table
what do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand... Quatro sinko
its like my daddy used 2 always say... "you can laugh now, but when u stop... you wont be
laughin.
whats a cow with no legs... ground beef.
33. Why dont you take a long walk off a short pier
36. love is hereditary. If your parents never had it,
chances are you won't either.
37. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me
at kick boxing.
39. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
40. Glasses
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A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says
here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
42. Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery
43. May all your dreams come true, and may you have only nightmares.
44. I think I am a pretty decisive person.
45. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses
46. Ever been to Florida University? FU?
47. What do toilets and anniversaries have in common?
Men always miss them.
48. If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food???
