ok son i love you but you're grounded
Okay, Kearn, I'm going to strike a deal with you.
Here are 15 sets of instructions. One of them is by your father.
If you follow the right set of instructions that are actually from your father, he has a giant mansion made of marbel and gold, hand-crafted brick by brick with the love and commitment of an undying parental affection. There's also an unlimited amount of your favorite flavor of icecream.
If you follow the wrong set of instructions that are not by your father, you will be put into a stasis and your brain will be downloaded into a computer that will then send eletrical signals to the pain center of your neural map, as to cause you unimagianble agony for as long as the computer program will last -- also, it's a new kind of computer that will last forever.
P.S. There is a chance that all of the instructions are made up, there is no mansion full of icecream, the torture application does not exist, and we're just trying to get you to live your life by an arbitrary set of rules and guidelines that we made up because we do not like certain kinds of people.
GL HF KTHXBAI
