Author Topic: My Daughter  (Read 1708 times)

I will have one child. It will be a girl.

My daughter's name will be Mika.

She will have red hair and freckles, and be chronically underweight.

She will play the piano, moderately well.

In school, she will never earn less than an "A", until College, where she will earn a "B" due to how heavy the workload is, and because the teacher is from the Middle East and loveist, giving women in the class an extra burden.

When she receives her "B", she will cry on her boyfriend's shoulder. He will make a move on her. This will be the first time she has intercourse. This will be the man she marries.


Five years later, after meeting my grandchild, I will die in an unfortunate accident. She will recovery quickly from the loss. Life will go on. My second grandchild, whom I never meet, will be a Crystal Meth addict.


IBan. I see what you did.  :cookieMonster:

You forgot the part where you physically and emotionally abuse her.

It's always nice to plan your child's future out for them.

Apparently my sister is going to have three sets of twins.

Nice family plan, but what if she becomes severely depressed from people making fun of her weight, then she OD's on diet pills and messes up her health forever?

Nice family plan, but what if she becomes severely depressed from people making fun of her weight, then she OD's on diet pills and messes up her health forever?
Improbable.

You forgot the part where you physically and emotionally abuse her.
Impossible.

But what about when your child enthusiast Catholic Priest neighbour who's into rock climbing and little girls starts spying Mika when she's in your back yard above ground pool? Surely that scares her life in a differen path.

Did I also mention the economic decline in 2023 which causes severe staff cuts and your saughte loses her job as a teacher and resorts to prostitution to make ends meet but she's still chubby and hat doesn't work?
« Last Edit: April 21, 2011, 09:33:03 PM by Proog »

And what if she has an additional alien organ that creates acids that kill her from the inside?

But what about when your child enthusiast Catholic Priest neighbour who's into rock climbing and little girls starts spying Mika when she's in your back yard above ground pool? Surely that scares her life in a differen path.
If anyone touches Mika I will rip their throat out with my teeth and rape the gaping wound in their neck.

If anyone touches Mika I will rip their throat out with my teeth and rape the gaping wound in their neck.
And what if he is death priest and had a shotgun?

If anyone touches Mika I will rip their throat out with my teeth and rape the gaping wound in their neck.
Father of all years right here, folks.


I will then stain your daughter in the face with quarts of self produced semen and pro-capitalist values.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2011, 09:36:56 PM by Dodger »

Did I also mention the economic decline in 2023 which causes severe staff cuts and your saughte loses her job as a teacher and resorts to prostitution to make ends meet but she's still chubby and hat doesn't work?
Oh and don't forget the part where your daughter's husband drops out of law school to pursue his life long dream of being a musician, and tries to convince her to play with him.
But turns out he's not so great and cranks up his student loan even more, causing their family to nearly go homeless, though also having to ask their uncle who won the lottery for hand outs in exchange for working for him during weekends doing chores and entertaining his friends, where she loses her self esteme after being mocked and insulted to her wits end by her cruel uncle go also has a compulsuive drinking and gambling problem?

YOU COULDN'T FORGET THAT COULD YOU, CERTAINLY NO WHEN IT'S SBOUT YOUR CHUBBY BABY GIRL?
« Last Edit: April 21, 2011, 09:39:04 PM by Proog »