Jokes.

[LizzyRascal]

I've decided that we need a fresh new megathread about nothing but jokes.

There's a website called www.lotsofjokes.com.

They have entire indexes of different jokes.

Here's a joke I found on there:

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

I'll post more later.

[Ad Bot]

[Night Fox]

OP should post more.

[Proog]

What's worse than a worm in your apple?

The holocaust.

[LizzyRascal]

OP should post more.

I'll post more later. But for now you can go to the website and read some.

[Sami2ss]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He never did because the drunk driver had run him over.

don't drink and drive kids

[leonstormrat23]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He never did because the drunk driver had run him over.

don't drink and drive kids

^loving epic win.  And inspiring stuff my friend.

[palpatine]

Well ok

There was a dog, a cat, and a snake sitting around campfire

The dog says: my owner sucks, he makes me take a piss on a fire hydrant

And the cat says: oh yeah? Mine makes me piss ian a ltter box

Then the snake said: oh really? My owner puts a bag over my head and make me do push ups till I throw up

[aml]

What about the You laugh you lose thread?

[palpatine]

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a snake have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

[Titanium]

What did the chicken say to the duck?

That is preposterous.  Neither chickens nor ducks possess the ability for recognizable speech.

[Stocking]

A woman is giving birth to a baby in a hospital. Immediately after she gives birth, the doctor takes the baby and starts punching it really hard in the face. He then throws it to the nurse who begins carving into the baby with a scalpel. Once the baby is quite disgustingly mauled, she throws it to the doctor who smashes the baby's head on the window sill, before chucking it through the glass out the window on the 30th floor. The mother, completely mortified by the scene in front of her, begins to scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!". Hysterical, the doctor calms the woman down and tells her "Ma'am, it's okay we were just kidding. It was already dead." 

[Edman]

What did the chicken say to the duck?

That is preposterous.  Neither chickens nor ducks possess the ability for recognizable speech.

[Jetlok]

rofl.

[aml]

That is funny in a horrible way.

[Kira100000]

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?




He was hit by a bus.