Please give constructive critCIAm
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Ethan and Edwin came home really late that evening, and neither of them were happy. They were sad, despite the fact that they were done with their first year in Greater School and now were free to build and sell their own creations for profit. Ethan had a bright future doing just that, he was already a good engineer and designer. He loved to use visible gears to let people see just how cleverly it was made. For some reason, plenty of other people think the same in their town, Grind Round Town. Edwin, on the other hand, was more likely to get killed in a gun battle, since he loved guns and loved fighting, which in fact, is a bad combination. As they were getting ready for the night, Ethan realized why they felt sad: they've never been on an adventure like those they've read about. They've never seen the world outside Grind Round Town and Edwin realized, he'd never even seen a real gun. They both decided to do something about it the next day, since they now had the whole summer to do whatever they wanted.
While Edwin fell asleep, Ethan drew several blueprints of a hot air balloon, and then chose the one he thought was the best. He continued to improve that one until it was perfect and when he was finished, he slept the few remaining hours of the night. Edwin had a hard time getting Ethan up that morning, but Ethan had an equally hard time getting Edwin to work, because he insisted they would travel on foot with backpacks. They argumented for a long while but in the end, Edwin was with him. Then they started building. It was a lengthy process in which they both made mistakes and both of them didn't want to tell the other that they messed up, and in the end, the result of a perfect plan was an imperfect hot air balloon, that lacked most of the more advanced parts of the blueprints. But building the balloon had taken the whole day and both of them reluctantly agreed to wait until tomorrow for trying it out.
On the next day, they both wake up refreshed, except that they are out of fresh water. They can't get any water for their hot air balloons steam engine and they decide to go get some, at the nearest fresh water shop. Ethan finds it sad that everyone uses steam engines and that people sell water for profit, while his parents didn't have to buy water since back then steam engines weren't as popular as what they used back then, ineffective coal engines. The water works much better, according to Ethan. They spend some of the money they have gained from repairing peoples stuff in the past and buy water for their hot air balloon for four days. They also decide to buy food for four days, so that they won't have to starve in the air, because, they think, that would just be silly. Ethan and Edwin go home and discover that someone has sabotaged their balloon, there's holes all over the balloon and the steam engine is gone. Edwin and Ethan both sadly witness what once were their imperfect hot air balloon, and cry a tear or two. But Ethan decides not to let this break him, he encourages himself and Edwin to build another balloon tomorrow, bigger, better and bigger! They then go to bed and sleep the whole night, but they don't hear the footsteps just by their beds. Suddenly, Edwin wakes up because he smells smoke, and not the great taste of gun smoke, but smoke from burning tree and steel. He screams to Ethan, who just continues sleeping, and then he shakes him until he wakes up. They both take the stuff they need the most, the fresh water, their tools and some building material. They then rush outside just to see their whole house collapse, only seconds after they got out. Edwin starts crying but Ethan looks around to see what could've started the fire. He sees a shadowy silhuette and throws a rock at it. It runs away with an evil laugh, with a voice clearly belonging to a female. Ethan tells Edwin, who just keeps on crying.
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