As you may have read in my last indisputable capture of suspicious bear activity -http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=157722.0
I have concluded that bears are in fact in on a plot, but not with domino's like we all previously thought.
After that first encounter, I decided to look for more clues. Sure enough after I went camping I found a scroll. This scroll was labeled 1-10 with very dark plans. What some of you may not know about me is that I spent time in college studying old languages, and from this experience I was 100% certain this was some form of squirrel communication. But what was special about this sqroll (what we in the business refer to as squirrel communication letters) was that there was a second writer. This second writer was in fact a bear. Although I knew the origins of the sqroll, I needed help from my good friend Jouatt to find out what it was saying. So I put it in my backpack and went to bed, thinking I was gonna head back to town the next morning.
I awoke the next day to find my tent ripped in pieces along with everything else I had with me that trip. After cleaning up the mess I could not find the sqroll, instead there were only bear tracks leading back into the woods. Immediately I knew the bears had taken their plans back, and decided to follow the tracks and try to find the sqroll. After about 2 miles of hiking I came to a sleeping bear who sure enough had that sqroll under his arm. This was no normal sized bear though, he must have been at least 150 pounds and 3 feet tall at the shoulder, so I knew I needed brains over brawn to obtain it. I fashioned myself a retriever(this is a device which can extend a persons reaching range by several feet if done correctly) using 3 branches. I was then able to grab it from a safe distance of about 5 feet. On my way back to the remains of my camp I studied the sqroll more careful then before and realized it was in english!!! Unfortunately at that moment I experienced a sharp pain in my head, followed by another, and then another. The squirrels did not take kindly to me taking their plans either. Me with my ego thought that I could handle a few acorns, but boy was I mistaken. I started bleeding more and more with every blow and realized I would never make it out with the sqroll, so I ditched it.
After I came home and went to the hospital telling them I fell as to not tip them off of any immediate danger from the bears and squirrels, I sat down and my computer and tried to recall what the sqroll contained, so I tried to recreate it as best I could.
1.Obtain massive amounts of firearms and bullet proof armor and obtain an alligence to the almighty bears.
2.With our newly aquired supplies we shall raid millitary supply supply routes and cut off all major trade routes around the world.
3.Create a false alligence to the United states of America by bribing Obama with KFC and tickets to an nba game.
4.Use our newly formed alliance to obtain nuclear missles from the United states.
5.Round up every mammal (including humans) besides bears and force them to pick Cedar Berries and salmon for a couple months.
6.Force every mammal as stated above to replant forests while picking berries and have a special unit of humans demolish every man made item
7.Live in peace and royalty while being charished by the humans
8.Live in this lifestyle untill the age of technology comes where robots can support us without the need of human support
9.Exterminate all-- *Loud screaching sound followed by many squigly lines.....*
10.Sorry my tea was ready, anyways BOIL ALL OF HUMANITY AND EAT THE SWEET SOUP OF JUSTICE!
NOW IS THE TIME TO REPEL!!! SAVE HUMANITY BY KILLING EVERY BEAR AND SQUIRREL!!! Endangered species my ass!!
