i will rerail this with my ultimate awesome block of storytext about the birth of the franchise through my eyes
so um I think my little pony was made when the creator was walking to a store in delaware to get some apples and then there was horse traffic and they were big horses and they blocked the road and the guy was like "damn these horses if only they were smaller and multicolored" and then the horses became smaller in the sense that they became ponies and then he could walk through the ponycrowd and then he was like "i can make a television show and line of toys about this situation" and he flew to hasbro to get a deal and the big-wigs were like "lets give him a shot we have lots of money" and the first line was a dud because both the toys and the show were horrifyingly photorealistic except the fact that they had tints of color that were horrifyingly unrealistic and the whole first draft was just an equine acid trip of horror, sales of hasbro dropped by 400% while cases of horse-related PTSD rose by 400% and hasbro was like "all the kids are crying what have you done i'd punch you in your face but i'll give you another chance just once, just once" and his voice trailed off as he took a drag on his cuban cigar while blocking out the sounds of the television blaring reports of nationwide child flashbacks of a nonexistant "horse war" so the creator went back to the drawing board and he was like "i need to make something watchable" as he watched the clock slowly tick in a sort of symbolic way and he started drawing the rough drafts of the cast and they were multiculteral ghetto centaurs with rump-tattoos called brutal marx in a pony-centric bronx and he thought this would relate to today's youth as he thought that kids liked violence and stabbings and gunfire and also two more legs so he took the drafts to hasbro and they were like "edgy, cool, aware i can see money flowing into hasbro with this prospect you're hired and you have a raise off the bat so good day to you" the manager said as he smoked a fine cuban cigar so the creator was like "yes I can make a living of these ghettotaurs" and the next week he heard his phone ringing in his office and he was like "whhm" and the boss was like "come to my office this instant" and he didn't sound happy and he could've sworn he heard the boss crying so he was like "oh no i'm guessing family emergency i'll go help him" and he went to the office and the boss had tears streaming down his face and he was like "you've ruined my company as your ghetto-taurs have lowered the sales of all hasbro toys by many percent, i'd fire you but i'll give you one more chance, one more, one..." his voice trailed off as he took a drag off his significantly less fine regionally ambiguous cigar and pointed to a news channel, the news lady said "as hasbro's ghetto-taur line of toys debuted child-to-child stabbing and heroin trades have increased by 500% and this is obviously a bad thing" and the creator was like "one more chance, one more, one..." as his voice trailed off he worked on the new designs as he replaced the ghetto-taurs with pastel colored ponies with girly names and family-safe non-stabbing or shooting-up-heroin personality quirks and he replaced the original centaur bronx with a happy, non gang war-torn place called ponyville and he was like "oh this will never work i know those kids love violence and this is too tame for todays radical youth my kid smokes 2 packs of malboros a day and i'm like 'up the ante you pusillanimous individual' but whatever as long as i stop all that kid-to-kid stabbings and heroin trade i'll be alright" he said as he brought the plans to the boss and the boss was horribly pale and sweaty and he had bags under his eyes and he was like "i haven't slept for two weeks worrying about this company and also my daughter who's eloped with an unsavory gentleman named rakell who does heroin so make this quick before i die of exhaustion" he said and then the creator's like "don't die on me boss you're the best boss i've ever had and no one can take your place and i'm sorry about your daughter but i have more plans for you to bring to action" he said as he handed the plans to the boss as he scanned them and the boss said "these plans look great but i'm very tired so i might not be of the best judgement so i'll greenlight this and go to bed" and the creator was like "thank you boss and i'll promise to bring prestige back to hasbro" he said as he left the office and went home to his apartment where he restlessly slept with thoughts of success or failure swimming in his head and the next month he went back to the office, and the boss still looked weary but with rays of hope showing ever so slightly on his tired visage and the creator was like "hey boss whatsap" and the boss was like "good news i have recieved an announcement by the sales department that the sales of hasbro toys has raised above the point before we lost so much" and the creator was overjoyed and he said "what put our sales back into place" and the boss said "those damned ponies my boy" and he pointed to the TV which had the news on it and it showed a picture of happy children and the news lady said "the urban threat of child shankings and horse-related PTSD has died down as hasbro releases it's new line of happy pony toys dubbed 'my little pony' " and the boss shut off the tv and was like "i have one more thing to ask the man who single handedly saved my company" said the boss and the creator was like "what is it" and the boss said "save my daughter and rakell from the life of crime they're headed to"
END OF PART ONE
