Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris cheated on his English test..................with a calculator
Chuck Norris didn't hit puberty, he beat the crap out of it!!
Chuck Norris is so awesome he created fire by rubbbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
Chuck Norris was going to send an email, but decided it would be faster to run.
Chuck Norris can stand while sitting
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Seconds.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Handicapped Parking is reserved for Chuck Norris. The picture shows what will happen to you if you take his spot.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When Chuck Norris jumps, gravity pulls a muscle.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
That's not an eclipse....that's the sun hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris doesn't age. He levels up
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Chuck Norris gets the Sunday papers on Thursday
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris was originally going to play Leonidas in 300 but he kept kicking the Persian over the pit into outer space.
Chuck Norris wears sun glasses to protect the sun from his eyes.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can clap. With one hand.
Fire stops drops and rolls when it catches Chuck Norris
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