I woke up on the oven, as I was being consumed by several stale dairy products. I then spotted my mom crying at the table, and she was bleeding from her forehead.
She told me my dad was beating her. But this wasn't possible. My mom IS my dad. She was then checked into a mental hospital, and my grandma came to raise me for sixteen more years.
I then became a black ninjurai (ninja samurai) with an afro and defeated the evil god of pretense tennis.
And that's how my day went.