You will need:
Scissors
Glue
Construction paper
Paperclips
3 sheets of two-ply toilet paper
A wooden match without the red striking end
A pencil
A live raccoon
$10 bill
A pink stapler (Or whatever color you prefer)
It is important that before you begin, you ensure you are in an area with a water fountain. Invite the girl there, provided that she wasn't there already.
Approach her with the construction paper and draw a pentagram on it with the pencil, if she asks what day your birthday is then proceed, if she looks down and crosses her eyes then you have failed and you must staple the pentagram to her left breast and walk home only on your left foot.
Rub the glue on the back of the raccoon (If you prepared the raccoon before hand, ensure the glue is still wet, or else apply more.)
Cut the 3 sheets of toilet paper into 3 Stars of David and lay them gently in the glue, use the pencil to keep them lying flat.
Set the raccoon on the ground, and then lay the girl on top of the raccoon. Wait for the glue to dry.
Glue the match stick to the raccoon's forehead and attach the $10 bill to it with the paperclips.
The raccoon will now lunge forward in attempt to catch the money.
If the raccoon successfully gets the money within 34.26 minutes, then she will date you. If the raccoon fails, you must kill them both and spend the $10 on a new pair of sunglasses.
I hope this guide helped, I've used it for years now without fail!
- VH.
