Why do you even care about the intro anyway? It's not focused on that, so just deal with it.
Its important to understand the finer points of video editing. Whether its justified or not, people can lose interest quickly if you have content that isn't sharply edited. Having an intro title that goes on for that long is un-necessary, it should only really play for at the most 3 to 5 seconds, especially since the text isn't very long.. it takes a second to read.
On the other hand I don't care if I sounded like a rapist, I'm still working on my commentated skills.
I was just being honest, it creeped me out a little. It'll probably help if you try to be a bit more like a host and a little less like a casual gamer talking to his friend. That is why commentary tends to fail in videos like this, nobody wants to hear small talk between you and your bud. This should be more about the server, what you are doing, your opinions on what is going on... maybe even throw in a few witty comments or talk about the community.
Make the commentary something that people want to listen to. Right now you made the crucial mistake of having the commentary feel second class to the video content, when it shouldn't be like that at all. But this is pretty common in commentary videos, it doesn't take much to fix. Even if you need to pre-script some dialogue, do it.
it's not like it was supposed to be filled with special FX and all those fancy things.
Erhem. Not what I meant but moving along.
I'm not a master doesn't mean you have to criticize me on everything, for me commentaries is just about having fun on different servers. So ya bye =D.
You can either listen to what I have to say as a viewer of your show, and improve on it, or take it personally and ignore it, failing to improve your videos. I think you'll find I won't be the only one who picks up on some of these issues mentioned. If you can't stand criticism, making videos in this community isn't for you.
And trust me when I say I've seen a lot of people just like you come, post a video, get annoyed there isn't entirely positive response, and move along with the rest of the failed video creators. You don't want to be one of those people.