Author Topic: Essay due tomorrow, I finished it.  (Read 1332 times)

It will bring my grade from an F to a High C or low B...

Can't get myself to do it.. it's on Nanotechnology, how it will affect our lives and the challenges of achieving it whatever.



I can write it in 20 minutes if I wanted but I'm too lazy.

Please help.
forget bro

just do it homework is way more important than being on a forum

Gareth Lloyd
Duran P.7 Biology
10/25/11
Nanotechnology: A Coming Boon

   Nanotechnology is promising to be a great leap in many varied fields. Nanotechnology is going to help the medical field by allowing people to send in tiny robots to deliver medicine to work in people’s bodies. Nanowires will help us gather energy via solar cells, however there will still be challenges in this endeavor; the technology could be quite expensive, it will take a lot of time and resources and will be difficult to do, even for robots, because of the size.

   Nanowires could change how we get energy; they have shown potential application in solar cells which capture energy that is radiated from the sun. Smaller solar cells would mean more mobile electrical generating units which would have a great effect on electronics far from urban development. This would be a great boon for rural communities as well as military endeavors. 

   The medical field should be invigorated by Nanotechnology. We will be able to send drones into a body to destroy sick cells, or deliver medicine directly to the cells that need it. This would reduce or remove the need for invasive surgeries.

   Nanotechnology will be a great leap in science but it will have its challenges, for instance it will probably be very expensive to get the materials to create such small gadgets. The procedure will likely be very time consuming and difficult to do even if it’s done by robots because of the extremely small size of the elements concerned. At the size we’re talking about the margin for error is less than zero.

   Nanotechnology will make life much easier and improve a lot of things. It could change how we get energy, how doctors treat their patients but it will still have its drawbacks however it promises to be worth the trouble.


12.5 size font, 14 font size on my punctuation.

12.5 size font, 14 font size on my punctuation.

Just do double spacing


Make it longer grammer errors spell check you suck at this Its good.

That's a terrible essay; it's full of useless generalities, grammatical errors, unsupported claims, and at least one patently wrong statement.

Here are a few ways to improve it:

1. Use humble terms to describe coming events - I'm assuming you can't see into the future so using terms like "...is going to.." and "..it will take..." is pretentious at best. Better to use terms like: may, could, perhaps, it's possible that, etc.

2. Support your claims - It's perfectly OK to suggest nanotechnology may lead to "x" but you should really cite some sources for such predictions. I don't expect you to go digging through science journals, but citing an article in Popular Science magazine or from the BBC's website would greatly increase the worth of anything you write. It will also give you more information to discuss in your paper.

3. Avoid using terms you don't understand - It may tempting to use phrases like "margin of error" but it's best to avoid them if you don't understand how to use them correctly. For instance, you can't have a "margin of error less than zero"; that just doesn't make sense.

4. Don't switch "moods" twice within a sentence - Read the last sentence of your essay aloud. You'll notice it doesn't flow correctly. Instead it makes abrupt changes in style and tone that will just leave any reader frustrated and perhaps even confused. It's OK to discuss positive and negative traits of subject in a single sentence, just don't switch from A to B, then back to A again.

The biggest problem is that your essay lacks substance. You haphazardly spewed out three thoughts in the initial paragraph and just kept regurgitating those thoughts in the following paragraphs. You didn't really add any details to support your claims. The only way to remedy this is by doing more research. Learn how "nanomachines" can/are constructed, how they work, and what functions they perform. I'm sure the reader would love to know how such devices can lead to more efficient solar panels or how they can deliver medicine. If you're going to discuss the costs of the technology, get some real numbers. Exact figures aren't necessary, but "ball-park" estimates are useful. How will the cost of a nanomachine-built solar panel compare to the cost of a conventional panel?

Given that there are so many interesting questions to explore, I'm sure you can write a better, more interesting essay than this.



Then you either live in japan or you're handicapped.

No, I live in the netherlands and I just had a lot of homework.

lol you call THAT an essay? every paragraph after the first could be combined and it still wouldn't be long enough to please most teachers

lol you call THAT an essay? every paragraph after the first could be combined and it still wouldn't be long enough to please most teachers
He's not at the same grade level as you, thus he probably doesn't have to write as much.

But still, you could work on writing structure. I wouldn't worry though, considering it's a biology essay. Frankly, I think each paragraph should have 8 sentences, which might seem like a lot, but if you cheat and make each thought into two sentences it is fairly easy.

He's not at the same grade level as you, thus he probably doesn't have to write as much.

if he's in highschool, regardless of what grade he's in, 2 sentences will never be an adequate paragraph.

if he's in highschool, regardless of what grade he's in, 2 sentences will never be an adequate paragraph.
This is true, like I said, they should be 5 dead bare minimum, 8 is the real minimum.

Meh
This is C worthy. It's very choppy.

that thing is shorter than a young man's



attention span

it needs to be way longer dude that isn't even a sufficient essay
those aren't even paragraphs
they're just sentences that you press enter for every two lines.