[RPWS] Shorts THE FOURTH WALL

[jaradderaj]

[RPWS] SHORTS
The Fourth Wall
Written by Deraj, Sean, and Max

Characters

Real Jared, Se'an
Special Guest: Sn0w

      It was early in the afternoon at the RPWS clubhouse. Se'an and Sn0w were standing by the tramploine.
      "Hey did you about how in Skyrim, somebody took the model for the dragonborn helmet and made it in real life out of felt?.. Horns and all" Sn0w asked.
      "Dude that is so epic! I would soooo buy one of those." Se'an replied.
      "I tried looking it up online but no results it must be hand made. I even threw my money at the screen.. loving useless." Snow added.
      Se'an looked directly at the reader and said, "Could any of you guys make me one and send it to me?"
      "Who the forget are you talking to!" Sn0w asked quite puzzled.
      "The readers.. I was just wondering if they could make me a felt hat"
      "Readers what are you talking about all I see is you talking to a tree?"
      "No can't you see them.. They are reading the story right now!"
      "Story?! What story?... What are you talking about!"
      "Jared why are you writing this?... It serves almost no purpose."  Se'an asked.
      "Wait Jared is inside..." Sn0w said. He was very concerned.
      "No not that Jared... Real Jared as in the one that is typing this story as we speak!" Se'an said confidently.
      "Ok man... I am going to get you some help." Sn0w said then ran inside to go get Jared.

[Ad Bot]

[*FacePalm*]

Because this idea totally isn't taken from Jirue.

[jaradderaj]

Because this idea totally isn't taken from Jirue.

Wait what.. Who is Jirue???

[carolcat]

Why do you always put your stories in center print?

[jaradderaj]

Why do you always put your stories in center print?

I use the same templete everytime so I guess I need to change that lol let me work on it it should be left

[Katadeus]

tramploine.

Jesus Christ I want one of those so bad.

[Dippindots]

Um...

Words cannot convey... how bad this is.

[ChickenMaster]

I actually haven't ready any of your stories yet, but I can already tell you that you use WAY to much dialogue. Stories have narrations and details which usually aren't conveyed solely by the characters, plus, reading all dialogue gets dull and boring after a while.

[jaradderaj]

I actually haven't ready any of your stories yet, but I can already tell you that you use WAY to much dialogue. Stories have narrations and details which usually aren't conveyed solely by the characters, plus, reading all dialogue gets dull and boring after a while.

This one isn't really considered a story... It is just a small little random thing... Like it is just 1 conversation.

[carolcat]

Also, you should try adding descriptive words to the dialogue, such as:

"Hey, did you about how in Skyrim, somebody took the model for the dragonborn helmet and made it in real life out of felt?.. Horns and all" Sn0w asked suddenly.
"Dude, that is so epic! I would soooo buy one of those." Se'an replied excitedly.

Stuff like that would more than likely make it a bit more interesting to read.