go on stage, when asked a question say "shut up and make me a sandwich, bitch" then shart out a monkey and a huge slob of poop, slap the mic with your richard and beat up the smallest kid on each teams, make sure they're crying. Next pick up your slob of poop and yell "PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU!" and throw it on the audience. Next eat your poop until your 5000 pounds and roll into the audience killing hundreds.
Or you can take the blue pill and go.
Or you can take the red pill and stay. Call in sick or something