Author Topic: Santa Claus is a rich, rich man. (Holiday rant from Man 2)  (Read 2152 times)

Santa is rich.
Like, really rich.
He gets paid to be in every mall in America at one time, which normally would fund toy production for the next holiday season. However, more and more parents are buying gifts for their children instead of letting Santa do so, which makes his profits soar. Parents likely must pay Santa to tell their children he exists and that he's the one giving them their gifts. With less children in need of Santa's toys, production quotas shrink. A lower production quota means a stronger workforce isn't needed, so Santa must lay off elves. This saves him even more money. The amount of toys produced during the year dictates how large his toy sack is, obviously. Less toys rolling off the assembly lines means a lighter sack for Santa's sleigh, saving him money because his sleigh's gas mileage goes up. A lighter sleigh means less reindeer are needed to pull it, so he lays off reindeer. Less reindeer means less feed to buy, which means he saves even more money.
Then there's the ultimate source of the North Pole's tourist revenue: the Polar Express. The North Pole must have a lot of stores for the passengers of the Express, generating profits both for the companies with locations up there(they arrange secret business partnerships with Santa) and for Santa himself.
It all adds up: Santa's loaded.

Before becoming rich, he was this
http://www.totaljerkface.com/happy_wheels.php

Open the North Pole Rush

what the forget lol

and before anyone else does it:

What types of bullets kill santas? Silver or iron?


His sack shrinks every year




What types of bullets kill santas? Silver or iron?
Gingerbread.



What types of bullets kill santas? Silver or iron?

Diet pill bullets.

Santa must be able to pay confidential informants with his vast sea of profits to snoop around and see which kids get gifts from their parents and which kids need gifts from Santa, so he can set the production quota for each year.

I know what's in Santa's sack, everyone: corruption.