Have you tried bitchboy therapy? It worked wonders for turnipblog
You see, you start out by riding on the Pablo Express ride, follow up by being Pablo's main actor / voice actor / right hand man for the past year or so. Next, watch every Quablos video and be a man.
Or you could just sit in a stray jacket in the level 17 high secure prison cell of the bitch boy police...
... For 13 years...
... Like me.