Huh. I think I will trust my younger self on this. I have been suspecting for a while now that parenting is completely worthless. I've exported several fully functional models with absolutely no parenting or empties. This mesh I did parent to detail32 and that had no effect on anything.
I noticed the DTS exporter had a setting for detail levels, and the first time I exported the model, I forgot those and it still technically loaded (I've been spawning models as static shapes, though, and that first model wasn't even transparent, so the validity of this example is debatable). In the export log, there is a note made of the setting provided in the exporter, but nothing special is said about the empty. Perhaps the Blender exporter handles this automatically, and notes about the requirement for empties were intended for different modeling programs? I'd try it myself, but judging by what has already resulted from trusting what feels right to me, further experimentation may lead to the model going to your house and stabbing you in your sleep.
A couple more questions about what I should do while I have the time to post(Though it will be several hours before I can get back to the model):
I wasn't aware I could utilize double sided faces in models. The tutorial you gave said to disable double sided normals then make everything point outwards. Are those two different things? If I did this, it would probably make UV mapping less complicated. The transparency will not account for this, though. Positioning the camera between the inside and outside makes neither visible.
On that note, would a single vertical seam on the double-cylinder mesh be just as easy to texture? I managed to get that one working pretty good by creating a simple symmetrical gradient, then lining up the bottom and top with the symmetrical bits.