Cell - Chell sells sea shells by the seashore.

[Night Fox]

You attempt to "love" the female Chell. You are pretty sure that's not even in your genes though.

This didn't turn out so badly after all. But you're still sad that you can't love the female Chell.

turn into mini 3D glasses

The thought of this sickens you. Why on [insert location here] would you want to do something like that to a poor female Chell?
What do you think you are, some sort of freak?

Ask her for advice on your predicament.
But first develop a telepathic communication to her so communication is possible.

You try to communicate with the female Chell.

Male Chell: "Hello?"
Female Chell: "..."

[Ad Bot]

[Legodude77]

Grow arms.

[Tomcat]

Give it sentience, and grow genes to love her.

[[]----[]]

Create an entire life-sustaining cosmos that you cannot alter.

[Kochieboy]

Go into another universe and clone your self infinitely.

[Night Fox]

Grow arms.

You grow an arm. But it's crude, and is likely only a temporary solution.
But hey, it's the first mostly successful thing you've done so far! Maybe you can wrap it around stuff and move them?

Give it sentience, and grow genes to love her.

You're not sure how to give it sentience, so you replicate most of your non-gender-specific genes and send them over to the female Chell. She takes them in, although it might be a bit before she fully accepts the DNA.

You also write the genes to enable yourself to love the female Chell. You think that's what they'll do anyway.

[Legodude77]

Try growing some legs.

[Mushroom man]

love that bitch like she's never been loveed before!
Well, she probably hasn't been loveed before, but whatever.

[Conan]

no rules allowed = guaranteeing love request in some form or another

[Donro98]

Ask if she wants to loveing. If no, rape her.

[The Big Bad Jellyfish]

Become transparent.

[SWAT One]

Generate genes to produce flagelli and an eating hole.  (primitive paramecium). Duplicate genes and inject into female Chell.

[carolcat]

no rules allowed = guaranteeing love request in some form or another

well of course
this is the internet, after all.

[Conan]

Grow a portal gun and turn your (female) friend white with an orange circle in the center

[xxxxkill]

well of course
this is the internet, after all.

R34 everywhere.

Grow a portal gun and turn your (female) friend white with an orange circle in the center

Blue and Orange.
Let's being the testing, shall we?