Honestly now, it's really not that bad, have a couple of aspirin/paracetamol and man up.
Is it possible to make a drug out of household ingredients?
If you're
really not dealing with it very well, you could just tear off a few chunks of bark from a willow tree, the constituent salicylic acid might do something, but it may take a while and/or not work and/or cause intestinal bleeding.