Today started off very rushed; get to school and finish a project for english. Every class however was very chill today, no one really taught because it was all review or we had a sub. Football pracice came around and I got a stomach ache, which caused a lot of pain while lifting and while on the field. Lone behold its the day that no one can pick me up and I forgot my keys, so I walk home. At the halfway point I say in my head "Okay, halfway there we can make it". About 2 seconds after I said that I got the urge to take a dump, and it wasn't wating for me. So I went to the only close store and asked to use the bathroom, the lady said that its for employees only, so I left. As you can imagine I was in desperation, I had already slightly stuff my pants already, so I was in a hurry. Once I reached my front door, I dropped everything, went to the side of my house (Thank God for my forest of a front yard) and immediently you heard the shoshing of my stuff as it hit the ground. I looked to realize I had the runs. So my ass is covered in stuff, my underwear are full of stuff, my shorts and shirt are ruined aswell. I then decide I should go into my backyard for some privacy, so I climb my fence. Luckily I had left the trashcans out, so it was fairly easy, I got ontop and just as I had gotten to the position where I would push off the can to get my only leg thats not over the fence over, the trashcan falls, as do I, straight down into the top of my fence. It missed my testes by about an inch, but it bled a little and left a huge mark. Once I got down, I almost sprained my ankle because of how I landed. I went into my shed, buried my underwear and tried to hose off my ass with some water. My dad finally came home and I sneakily went upstairs and took a shower and threw my clothes away. and no one ever found out. And yea, this really did happen today, none of ths is exageratted.
