Real me:
Picture down because because.  
Portrait

Constructive criticism allowed, please rate 10/10.  
Ignore all that isn't me.  And the background colour. In fact, if someone would like to trans the everything for me (except me of course) I would love that.  
Thanks.  
Oh, and I know the mouth is too small, the glasses are off, the eyes are a-symmetrical, and the cat is creepy.