So, let's see.
What do we have so far?
Dear New Jersian,
How you doin'? Are you tired of Jersey Shore's heavy stereotypes? Are you tired of fitting Jersey Shore's heavy stereotypes? You are probably a carrot with a bad hairdo and an ugly face, but I'll deal with it. New York is all-around better. You constantly make us look bad in every country ever.
When you get this, remember to write back, because we are a bunch of stalkers. We know your name and everything about you. Write back to us, don't be a richard. If you don't feel like writing us back, then just rip this letter to shreds. But, I wouldn't advise that. We know your weakness. We can hide all the tanning salons around. But, you probably won't be able to read this letter anyways, considering you are all pretty dumb.
By receiving this letter, you agree that you can read, unlike the cast of Jersey Shore, to whom we recommend lynching. Has Snooki ever had a baby with you? The only good thing about you people is your Philly Cheesesteaks.
Sincerely,
The other 49 states.
C'mon. Keep 'em comin'.
