Poem - Crossing Old Friends

[Socrates]

I am sorry for crossing you my friend.
My mind must have wandered over here,
and for you, my mind did send.
Even though I didn't want you near.

Remember when we walked together,
sharing our troubles, happiness, and love,
taking part in every endeavor.
But now your name I will not speak of.

Now, again, we part ways,
Yet I still see you every day.
When I think of you my mind goes into a craze.
One day I'll forget you, the proverb did say.


Hey

I wrote this poem today in my spare time.  I'm quite pleased with it. 

It can work with both friends and old relationships (BFs GFs ect.)


/howismywork?

[Ad Bot]

[Firecycle]

The rhymes are good, but reading it out loud is clumsy due to there being little meter.

/approval

[sir dooble]

It's not bad put the last stanza is a little bit awkward in my opinion.
"When I think of you my mind goes into a craze" just seems too long to fit well in the rhyming pattern/speed.
That might just be me, but it doesn't feel right as I can see it.
And because of that the last line doesn't sit well with me having followed on.

[Socrates]

The rhymes are good, but reading it out loud is clumsy due to there being little meter.

/approval

It's not bad put the last stanza is a little bit awkward in my opinion.
"When I think of you my mind goes into a craze" just seems too long to fit well in the rhyming pattern/speed.
That might just be me, but it doesn't feel right as I can see it.
And because of that the last line doesn't sit well with me having followed on.

Thanks

[Eussorus]

pretty good, i like the theme of it.

[Mister Cheese]

>insert Socrates's avatar here<
Nah, I don't even know how to do that.
Anyway, OT:

I like this poem. Really good rhymes, theme, etc.

[Firecycle]

>insert Socrates's avatar here<
Nah, I don't even know how to do that.
Anyway, OT:

I like this poem. Really good rhymes, theme, etc.

[Socrates]

>insert Socrates's avatar here<
Nah, I don't even know how to do that.
Anyway, OT:

I like this poem. Really good rhymes, theme, etc.

lol

[sir dooble]

>insert Socrates's avatar here<
Nah, I don't even know how to do that.

Right click their avatar and then choose "Copy Image Location".
Then when replying paste that in [IMG][/IMG] tags.

As such;
[IMG]http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=128143;type=avatar[/IMG]

[heedicalking]

it's alright. a lot of rhyming poems are kinda cheesy though

[sir dooble]

it's alright. a lot of rhyming poems are kinda cheesy though

Most poems don't rhyme at all.
I think because it's just easier to do so like that. You don't have to limit your wording.

[curiosblockland6]

I don't know how to poem

[Socrates]

it's alright. a lot of rhyming poems are kinda cheesy though

Meh

[Firecycle]

it's alright. a lot of rhyming poems are kinda cheesy though

I hate it when people write free-verse and call it poetry.