I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this stuff, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went."
One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt.
