I am suicidal because of how lonesome I am. For hours on end at night I lay facing the wall, crying to myself about how I will never find love. I'm desperate beyond belief and you are the most beautiful being I have ever set my pitiful eyes on. Being in your presence right now is the greatest moment of my life, and if you would go out with me for one date it would undoubtedly be the best date ever. If you don't, that's fine, but keep in mind I'll probably slit my wrists or hang myself tonight because I can't have you. You are the definition of beauty. Nay, divine perfection. You have to be the child of Mila Kunis and George Clooney, no other set of genes could yield a person as gorgeous as you. Please, for the love of everything in the universe and its mother, go out with me.
Results may vary.
