Well, it's an old one, and it might not translate well because I think the timing and intonation is pretty key, but I always get a solid laugh from this one.Three men shipwreck on an island, and are immediately captured by the local cannibals. The cannibal chief approaches the prisoners and explains to them "Yes, we are indeed cannibals and do intend to eat you, however, we are not entirely savage or without mercy. We will allow each of you to pick your own method of execution, and you may go to the great beyond assured that every part of your bodies will be used. Your bones will be made into tools, your skin will be made into canoes, your testicles will made rattles for our infants. We believe you deserve to be honored for your sacrifices."So the men think it over a bit, and the first one asks for a knife to slit his throat. However, he botches the procedure and ends up taking several minutes to die as his lungs fill with his own blood.The second man sees how the first man dies and immediately decides he doesn't want such a long, drawn out death. He asks for the strongest of the cannibals to crush his head with a club. So they fetch a large tribesman who lays the man down and crushes the prisoners head like a grape, bits of skull and brain matter propelling a fair distance.The third man ponders for a bit, and then asks simply for a fork. The cannibals are puzzled, but curious, and ultimately decide to grant him the fork. Once given the fork, the man begins jabbing it into him everywhere he can reach- Arms, legs, thighs, neck, forehead, feet, hands- everywhere.As the man is slowly bleeding to death, no longer able to keep up his strength for jabbing, the cannibal chief asks him "I just have to know, why did you choose such an obviously grizzly and painful death?"The man replies, forget YOUR CANOES.
he forgets up his skin so they can't make canoes
clever.
was this supposed to be funny?
