Here's a list:
Go forget yourself
Assassinate Vladimir Pootis
Stick it in her pooper
Invent a teleporter
Revive Michael Jackson
Buy the Black House
Eat hindenburgers
Find a UFO and destroy it
Swim in the fountain
-this mission was removed for your own loving safety-
Build a strip club
Avast your ass
Play Strike Force Heroes
Rip the Pyro's mask off