I finally realized something.

[superslayer]

I finally realized that, I dont matter to the world. I'm nothing. A speck. Let me tell you guys something, this has been the worst summer...no worst 2 years of my life. First off, Highschool drama hits me like a ton of bricks, I start failing classes because all this stuff keeps coming into my life, no matter how hard i try and avoid it. Not only that, but sense last summer, i've lost 2 uncles that i loved, a grandad, half of my friends, 3 girlfriends (one i still care deeply about, and was forced to breakup with her by over protective parents), 2 dogs. I've been ignored by most of the people i considered friends, And when i try and make new friends, meet new people, they end up ignoring me. every single one. People that were my best friends in elementary school are now spreading bad things about me. My parents...they dont care about me like they should. When i wake up at 7:00 to make breakfast, wash dishes and clothes, feed the animals, they dont even show any appreciation. They try and control my life, try and tell me who to be and what to do. I have no freedom besides my computer and my saxophone. Which i might lose, because i might not be able to afford band, and they might sell it for money for bills. I've lost so much, And i didn't a have much to begin with. I try and look at the bright side, try to stay positive, but its so hard to stay positive when everything in your life is so negitive. I have been depressed on and off, I have been able to fight it before but.. i just dont know what else to say to myself to make me think everything will get better. I keep telling myself that and things just keep getting worse.

I dont expect your sympathy. and i dont really want it. I just want to vent where i dont have to worry about it coming back on me, and making things worse. I just want to go through school next year, like a shadow. Thats what i am already, i dont need something like this coming back and making people insult me.

This is not a Self Delete post, or a leaving post. this is a, idk what to do with my life, and i've givin up trying. I expect much flame, i dont expect any sympathy and im not looking for it.

TL;DR: i'm depressed again and its worse.

[Ad Bot]

[Extrude]

Talk to your wife about it.

[._maxwell23461_.]

I'd vent at the blockland forums too if I were feeling sad.

But wow your parents sound like they are complete forgetheads if they don't care about their own son.

[Tokthree]

I dont expect your sympathy. and i dont really want it. I just want to vent where i dont have to worry about it coming back on me, and making things worse

Probably the wrong place for that, a pillow or your basement would've been a better choice if I'm honest

[superslayer]

I'd vent at the blockland forums too if I were feeling sad.

But wow your parents sound like they are complete forgetheads if they don't care about their own son.

They care, but they dont show it often. They dont like, neglect me and stuff, its just they dont appreciate what i do for them. And they criticize me for playing videogames so much. When i only play them so much because it keeps me from thinking about things i dont want to think about. It keeps me from over thinking about things, and end up making my life harder then it has to be. I play them so much because i dont like thinking about other things. They call me lazy, they call me addicted. They think i play them just to play them, and they would like it if they went away. =/

[superslayer]

Probably the wrong place for that, a pillow or your basement would've been a better choice if I'm honest

i ment like coming back to me at school. I could vent on facebook, but then someone who i forgot to delete from my friends list or someone i accidentally added a long time, might spread it. And i'll be known as the emo loser. i dont need that.

[Bisjac]

good.

im tired of teenagers thinking they are special and entitled. i think that attitude is what is killing this country.

[superslayer]

good.

im tired of teenagers thinking they are special and entitled. i think that attitude is what is killing this country.

Did i say i was special? or entitled? no. I'm not special at all.

[Bisjac]

Did i say i was special? or entitled? no. I'm not special at all.

thus, the

good

[Anybody]

Did i say i was special? or entitled? no. I'm not special at all.

Come on, you're a little special

[superslayer]

thus, the

I miss read that i think. I'm sorry if i did, i thought you were saying something against me

[Tokthree]

your nothing but stuff in my eyes

You say it like your view of Bisjac matters to him

[Joker Card]

I know that feel.

[sonic dude]

i have had experiences like this, i only have a couple friends, and only one of them isn't idiotic

[Darkness ZXW]

So you're depressed because you have a computer, you've had 3 girlfriends in the last summer, you have had access to a school system for free, you have a heated/cooled house and a warm bed to sleep in, two parents who love you and don't neglect you, your whole life ahead of you, and access to the forums? Oh my God, get this man out of this abuse!