Alright. let me explain to you guys how it works, and then who the winner is.
The reason I wanted an actual reason is because myfriend and I made an app to deternin who wins. We had an RSS feed directly from this post and a few other places (reddit, /r/trees, sga), and it saved th more extended responses and assigned them to a number.
The numbers were all random, the first person to enter could had been number 60 and the 2nd person number 3. The total amount of people who entered was 741.
The winner was number 539 who was someone on reddit trees
Sorry to everyone who entered. This was fun.