Hello, I am Patrick Star, here with an important announcement. I will be running for the 2012 presidency. I know this may come as a shock to you, as I am already employed as an actor in the hit kids TV show, Spongebob Square Pants, but I reassure you I am running.
“Lets just take our problems, and push them some were else”
This is the time to think about getting rid of our problems. With our stance on pressing issues, we will get things done.
We are not Democrat, nor Republican. We aren’t independent either. We took all those problems, and push them some were else! We are the Bikini Bottom party, and we are looking to be elected in 2012.
My plan on foreign policy is to take it, and push it some were else. This is why we are now out sourcing all our foreign policy jobs to Mexico!
Gun control? We got a fix. We drag a magnet over the entire country, picking up all the guns, and push the huge magnets, with the guns attached, to Mexico. Its their problem!
Other candidates are a problem to me, but you know what I do to problems? I take them, and push them some were else. Some people would call this a problem, but I call it problem solving.
But now, onto more pressing issues.
Childhood obesity is a big problem to me. In fact, I have cut down a lot of my weight since I began to run! This issue needs resolving, for the childrens sake. My time working in child entertainment, I have noticed they use simple processes to get rid of problems. I will simply take all our unhealthy food, and push it to Mexico.
Many people believe that my views are unconstitutional. Can you guess what I did with the constitution? I will push it some were else.
Many people have criticized my policies, saying it is ultimately going to create a super police state. I see them as problems, and have pushed them some were else.
If you want to talk about my policies, please feel free to be pushed into Mexico, because I see people who question government as problems.
Remember, Patrick Star for President! We will take all the problems, and PUSH them some were else. That is my motto, so it is now your motto, because if its not, that’s a problem.
