Okay so far I've read up to the tuxedo part and you're loving rediclious lol.
You're holding it against him that he wore something fancy to school one day?
You're an starfish. And he even had a reason.
Also you reference stuff that happened in first grade. Chances are some of the kids still stuff themselves at that age lol, how the forget can you really hold that against someone.
Maybe this kid is an starfish, but from the looks of it, you're not any better.