Poll

rate

1
12 (75%)
2
0 (0%)
3
1 (6.3%)
4
1 (6.3%)
5
0 (0%)
6
1 (6.3%)
7
0 (0%)
8
0 (0%)
9
0 (0%)
10
1 (6.3%)

Total Members Voted: 16

Author Topic: i made a creepypasta  (Read 1182 times)

Well, after playing Super Mario 1,2,3 for nostalgia reasons, I decided to play some New Super Mario,so instead of wasting $50 to buy it, I asked from a friend if he has it. He said "Sure, I hate that game" and handed it to me. As soon as I got back home, I opened the case up. The CD was a re-writable disc that said "New Super Mario" with distorted letters below it. I looked at the manual, to figure out that the first letter on every paragraph on each page was either "DIE" "LEAVE" or "LIES". Astonished by what I had just saw, I forgot about it and I plopped the disc into the Wii my friend got me. The main menu loaded up fine, but as soon as I gotten into the first level, I hit the first "!" block, was instantly put into the last level. With the music being the World 4 music, I was confused. So I had turned off the Wii. As soon as the Wii read the disc, the disc started, to be greeted by a Luigi with blood dripping down his eyes. I turned the Wii off and unplugged it. That night I couldn't sleep. A couple months had passed since then, and I had forgotten about everything that had happened. I had also gained more mental strength during the time period, so I could take things that were scary without screaming. I plugged the Wii in, to be greeted by a Goomba with bloody red eyes stretched across the screen. Not caring about what happened, I had selected my file. I opened up world 1 again. I see that every creature has bloodshot and bloody eyes, there was scary screams here and there. I had called my friend that gave me the game to see what he had done with it. The phone was answered by his mom. He said that he had died of an epilepsy a couple days after he had given me the game. I figured that, this game, was sort of like someone wanted to murder him. For some reason, this game really scared me because of my friends death. Possibly it could have been this game that killed him. So I took the disc out, snapped it in half, and then pulled the Wii out and threw it on the road. When I went to bed that night, I remember what had happened to me that night when I had first played it. Mabye it was a warning of death, that I had never saw coming. When I had woke up that morning I got a call from my brother. He had said that our mom died, and she had bloody red eyes the night before. I had collapsed with fright, and when I had woke up I was being transported to the local hospital. My eyes were bloodshot also. I was in a coma for 3 days. After waking up the doctor came in and stuck a needle into my arm. My brother had came in, and he said, "I found this" and I said "Where did you find that?" and he said "On the floor, I thought you might have wanted to play it." "But it was snapped in two, so I had a disc repair specialist fix it. I had responded with "I don't want to. That game scares me very much." my brother replied back with "Fine then. I will play it." After I had got out of the hospital, I went back to the house. I found my brother dead on the floor, with Mario still running. I just walked out of the house, and called 911. They did say my brother had died, and we had him cremated.
I still haven't figured out the cause of my brothers death.


rate 10/x
« Last Edit: October 19, 2012, 09:07:27 PM by blockguy123 »

3/10
  • it's a game creepypasta so it can only be so creepy
  • way too much blood
  • desperate need of a not-dyin' machine
  • generic changed eyes aspect
  • weird grammar and paragraph structure
  • beginning shouts "i found a weird game with lots of blood and disturbing writings BUT I PLAYED IT ANYWAYS LOL I'M handicapped" and makes the pseudocreepy too obvious

  • beginning shouts "i found a weird game with lots of blood and disturbing writings BUT I PLAYED IT ANYWAYS LOL I'M handicapped" and makes the pseudocreepy too obvious
hm.

well

i guess i could said i have forgot about it



He said that he had died of an epilepsy a couple days after he had given me the game.
Bullstuff.

0/10 did not scare
also, pretty much all the basic concepts of it are cliche


His undead spirit told him that, Cyber

OP, your story needs more hyper realistic blood and gore :cookieMonster:

creepypastas aren't usually real
psst hey he's making fun of the typo

creepypastas aren't usually real
I meant the part of him dying from "an epilepsy".

creepypastas aren't usually real
no no no no no no you're terrible :(
Ideally, a fictional work will try to immerse the reader.

You have to make it interesting and good enough to make the reader feel more like it's real using only text, and that is why writing is a specialized art which can only be done correctly by those who are naturally skilled at it.

i suck at these things

im sorry for wasting my own goddamn time and yours :c