I might upload the pic tomorrow (im supposed to save stones for medical brown townysis / because my parents think its hilarious how relieved i am after i pass one so its like a war trophy), its nothing gorey, but for now since I certainly won't be sleeping for the next half an hour after THAT, heres my favorite kidney stone related story:
Late october of 2009, I was scheduled for my first kidney surgery at Duke Children's hospital, from one of the world's greatest kidney surgeons (great guy, good sense of humor, caring and very understanding). I had to go in at 6am, aka the early shoft for them. i would be the first in and out of the operation room that day. The day before they had marked where they wanted to stick the IV in my arm, and gave me some numbing cream to apply 2 hours before putting it in. They prepped me for surgery, and then i dont recall anything else.
I woke up about... Eh, 11:00 (that's about 6 hours later, surgery only lasts 1.5 hours). I couldnt really open my eyes, so i ended up dozing off several times, until i finally was wide awake. I noticed three things immediately: my face had some nasty goo on it making it impossible to open my eyes almost; My entire arm that originally had the needle in it was COVERED in dried blood;... And there was a long tube moving from below the bed, to under my sheets.
This is where I explain those 3 things. Mid-surgery, my anesthesia wore off, and I apparently decided 'doing a backflip off the table sounds like a good idea!' This of course freaked EVERYONE out, but im no jerk, so my half-dead brain somehow sat me up on the operation table again while the surgeons all stood frozen. Now, this clearly caused for those 3 things mentioned before; my IV fell out, ao they tried reapplying it on the same arm, and managed to blow up 4 veins. So they tried the other arm, blew up 3 and FINALLY got it. Then they doubled my anesthesia and put the goop on my eyes (still not sure why)...
The tube mentioned before... Is called a catheter. I like to think of it as 'surgeon's payback'. Allow me to assist you in realizing the horror of it:
http://www.google.com/search?q=catheter&hl=en&tbo=d&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=zS6TUNG-OIvs8gSJ2ICoBQ&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=320&bih=416#i=30At the very end of that tube is a balloon. No, not a party balloon, as that would imply they had a sense of humor. The balloon end goes in your bladder and inflates to stay in place. Theres an opening just below that, which allows urine to empty into the bag on the OTHER end. This made it so if I moved the slightest muscle, my 'disco stick' became the center of hell, painpainpainPAIN. The first surgery, they decided, since I'm such a well endowed young man, I deserved the LARGEST size they had! Yippee! Atleast, yippee until they
YANKED IT OUT, the only advice being; hold your breath and slowly let it out, its okay if you have to cry or scream...The second time, just to be real starfishs, they gave me the 'take home' version and let me remove it. That took much longer and involved me deciding to sleep for the rest of the day.
So, to this day, they give me a little extra anesthesia, and we have ruled out catheters.
FOREVER. or so help me god I will end this world
