Having a black friend doesn't mean you can't be tribal. My best friend from school is incredibly homophobic, but I'm still his best friend.
Anyway, DrenDran's correct point was that you choose the person with whom you have love.
He's...morally? ethically? something, wrong in his suggestion to hide it. Being forced to hide part of one's identity is never something one should have to do.
He was also incorrect in the idea that having love with the same gender means your gay. A straight woman, for whatever reason, choose to have love with a woman, but be straight. She could not, however, choose to be loveually attracted to the other woman.