A Grand Adventure [Red and Edd are dead!]

[Nonnel]

You are a fat man. You wake up stranded in a desert. To the right of you is a crumpled piece of paper, maybe with writing on it, and there's a black handle of an object buried near it. The sun is setting. What's your name? What do you do? How did you ever gain so much weight?

[Ad Bot]

[Cuddles le Bear]

This looks rather better than mine any way.
Your name is Arsophal! You grab the paper and the black handle.

[Nonnel]

You pick up the piece of paper. You wonder if it's referring to the handle jutting out of the ground.

[Decepticon]

Eat the paper, since you feel hungry.

[Cuddles le Bear]

Due to your weight, you decide to run around until you pick up the black thingy.

[Shell]

Listen to the piece of paper. It's clearly saying that picking the handle up will result in terrible things.

You're fat, and can't outrun terrible things.

[Cuddles le Bear]

Listen to the piece of paper. It's clearly saying that picking the handle up will result in terrible things.

You're fat, and can't outrun terrible things.

Then you run and do some laps.
Come on people! Why must you hate on running laps?

[Shell]

Running and doing laps will only tire him out! That will make it even harder to outrun terrible things.

[Cuddles le Bear]

Running and doing laps will only tire him out! That will make it even harder to outrun terrible things.

Alright, conserve your energy.

[Nonnel]

Eat the paper, since you feel hungry.

You eat the piece of paper, but it only seems to make you hungrier. You've already forgotten what the piece of paper said. Oh, and you feel like you have something in your shirt pocket.

[Cuddles le Bear]

You grab the item in your shirt pocket, it's a banana.

[Nonnel]

You grab the item in your shirt pocket, it's a banana.

So you thought.

You find a pack of cigarettes in your pocket, but you have nothing to light them with.

[Shell]

Check your pants pockets.

[ruiner369]

You forget what the note said and pick up the black handle.

[Nonnel]

Check your pants pockets.

Look at the picture in the OP and tell me he can reach his arms that far.