Author Topic: Our Dusty Old Guns - Back to Basics [War's a brewin']  (Read 8498 times)

Chalk groans, realizing the situation he's quite literally been dropped into.  He gets up, hopping off of the top of the crate, facing the other direction of the ship.  He was ignored amidst the chaos, as he quickly began to sprint for the bridge, fighting his way through hordes of panicking people running each and every direction.  The few that tried to stop him were promptly put in their place by a metal plated fist.

I explain my situation to the Mayor after he tries to kill me, and I put an arrow in his knee. "Mayor, I am exiled from the North. I look for the good side to fight for, and it is the southerners right now. You attacked me, and I put an arrow in you. Now, hopefully you can tell your people to stop being scared of someone who hates his home."

Hey protip you guys who use paragraphs for RPing
One line per person speaking

Hey protip you guys who use paragraphs for RPing
One line per person speaking
None of us have even talked to each other much. Aside from maybe one time between Blazer and I.

I was more or less referring to how both you and Blazer tend to have massive conversations crammed into one paragraph
That's not how you write dialogue

I get a room in the Inn, but a bar fight happens. I walk slowly into the room, silently, trying to see if anyone hears or sees me. The Inn Keeper does, but waves me to the fight. I hear closely.

"You starfish took my vodka!" The man swings a punch at a other, seemingly, drunk man.
"No! I.. spit in it and it is mine!" The drunk man throws the vodka bottle into the mans face. The man screams in agony.
I run up and trip the drunk man, while I ask for someone to attend to the man on the floor. I punch him in the face multiple times. As he fights back, he pulls a dagger. I pull out my combat knife and parry an attack, and trip him again. I stab him in the arm and tie his hands behind his back. He throws the dagger at my face beforehand and I stab him in the head. Everyone starts cheering, and start saying that the evil was suppressed. "Granit is dead! Praise the death of the evil man!"
Everyone starts to hug me and pat me on the back, while I get a turkey dinner.

I am really confused.

I was more or less referring to how both you and Blazer tend to have massive conversations crammed into one paragraph
That's not how you write dialogue
I'm well aware of that, but this is the internet, not English class, so I don't give a stuff.

Seeing the gesture, the Inn Keeper told me the man I killed burned down homes and forced people to like him, or it was death itself from his lazer sniper. He also told me he had a transport, and I gasped that it could fly, and I asked if I could have it.

After I slept until morning, I went to the bike, and it was surprisingly clean.

Swat you're getting ridiculous with this stuff man come on.

Chalk continued on his journey down the side of the boat, fighting the hordes of screaming men and women who ran past him.  The crowd eventually began to thin out, and more and more attempted to stop Chalk in his efforts, some armed but most not, as those who were armed were dealing with the airship.  He then began to scale the bridge catwalks.

Swat you're getting ridiculous with this stuff man come on.

Chalk continued on his journey down the side of the boat, fighting the hordes of screaming men and women who ran past him.  The crowd eventually began to thin out, and more and more attempted to stop Chalk in his efforts, some armed but most not, as those who were armed were dealing with the airship.  He then began to scale the bridge catwalks.
It would be rare to not see this in a place such as the south.

A northern man terrorizes the common southern folk.

As if a man from the North would live in the South...

QUITIT.

I rest on the side of the boat, drooling into the water out of boredom. "Where the hell is LAND?!" I shout in agony.

I took his laser rifle, and hopped on the bike and took a few supplies with me.

"I guess these people really hated that guy." I mutter.

'Chalk' was able to reach the top level of the bridge without detection, and reached the entrance.  He pressed himself tightly against the wall opposite of the hinges and placed a hand on the handle of the door.  Slowly, he begins to turn it, and he pulls it open, keeping an eye inside and peering around at the chaotic insides of the bridge.  People were rushing around, radioing constantly, sending SOS signals and barking commands at eachother.  Chalk stepped inside, virtually unnoticed, until one of the radio operators turned around, a look of terror on his face.  Quickly, Chalk ran forward, the terrified man had no time to draw his pistol, and instead, attempted to throw a punch at his mask.  Chalk reacted by reaching up and quickly catching the man's fist and twisting it to the side, causing the man's torso to twist in the same direction.  Chalk then bent the man's arm, while pulling him sideways slightly to twist him to face another direction.  Chalk then pressed the arm against the man's back, now in the "chicken wing" hold position.  Chalk quickly turned him to face the group, they had began to notice as they heard the struggle in the man's utterances of discontent, and were drawing their pistols.  Chalk lifted his arm underneath the other man's left, aiming his pistol at the radio operator's head.  "Give me the captain." Chalk said, his voice electronic sounding as usual.

(this is anyone else on the boat's turn to react)

I sat around, bored, chewing on rations stashed beneath the control panel. "This is boring, I'm going back." I said to myself before turning the boat around. Within what seemed like an hour I was back at the boat. "Why couldn't I have gotten to LAND this fast?" I mutter as I climb up into the emergency boat docking area. I just left the boat in the water, no use trying to pull it back up here. Everyone was just running around wherever, and the airship was being held back surprisingly well. I decided to go pester the captain to see if anything important needed to be done. I mean why not, what's the worst that can happen? He throws me off the boat? I could just get back in the emergency dinghy and head for land again. I reached the door to the man in charge after traversing a river of screaming people. "Captain?!" I shouted as I knocked on the door. There was a lot of screaming and barking inside the room, along with a very threatening voice demanding the captain. "HELLO?!" I shouted again, banging harder. "If now is a bad time, I could wait a minute. I really don't want to be around more sweaty neanderthals. I'd prefer to be doing something in here... with you... and the important, clean people..." I explain, my voice slowly trailing off.